23 days to go...

Day 342 - I am having a hard time focusing today... I spontaneously rented a cottage on the beach for the night and am anxiously waiting to get the heck out of my office! The car is loaded and soon I will be sitting on the beach watching the sunset with a glass of vino..... can't wait!

Still 32 days to go...

Part two...

Had a great day... fabulous smells are coming from my kitchen... enjoying a simple glass of wine... and no homework this week!

And I sit here pondering...

do I post pics of the guys I have dated throughout the year... c'mon my 12 followers....

DO tell!

32 days to go...

Day 333 - I just took a brief stroll down memory lane, I really have had some ups and downs in this "almost" year. What an emotional roller coaster, but one with which I keep jumping on!

Summer for us is nearing close. K gets out of school this week... finally! Poor thing, I think the rest of the world started without us weeks ago. This week is pretty jam packed with awards assemblies, end of the year parties and minimum days. Hopefully it will go by quickly and we can be done with homework and early mornings!

This week was pretty quiet and routine. Only got to see the beau Wednesday. He made me dinner and we watched The Voice, he loves that show! A simple and fulfilling evening. The rest of the week and weekend he was overly busy writing and recording songs. It's definitely crunch time for him. Apparently they are late with the production of one of the TV shows he writes and preforms for, and his new show is just getting started. The whole thing baffles me and is so foreign. Truly I find it amazing how anything gets produced as most of it seems so last minute, unplanned and thrown together. That's Hollywood for you I guess, creative minds are sporadic! A few more weeks and his life should get back to some form of normal, or so he says... I just gotta hang in there... (he keeps reminding me)!

Friday I did a little nighttime research with Jeff. We are in the beginning stages of planning our business venture. We intend to open a wine tasting bar. A place where one goes to sample, experience wine, and become educated. It is going to have a mellow lounge feel, with live music, nice art, overstuffed chairs and sofas. One can sit and relax, in addition to sampling fine wines before buying a glass, or the bottle for that matter. He and I have mentioned going into business together for awhile now and finally agreed on our niche! So Friday we visited two local "wine bars" just to see how there systems worked. We actually were going to check out their dispensing equipment as I have been in talks with the manufacturer and have been given a list of places to see. To say the least, we were not overly impressed with either location.... they've done it all wrong. We have several more places to visit in three counties, lucky for us, this research isn't tedious! Right now we are in the beginning stages, him with his research on real estate, location, median income...blah blah blah, and me with design, we are putting together our business plan. So far we have lined up two investors and one sommelier! Not bad for our first venture together!

Saturday I was supposed to meet the family half way in Santa Barbara for a Father's Day lunch, but at the last minute they had to cancel. This left me with the day to myself and nothing really to do, thank goodness for the Morgan's! Chris happened to be sitting at a bar on the beach with two buddies watching golf and college baseball. So, Allissa and I headed towards the sand and joined them! It was a perfect day at beach. We sat in the bar, had a few beers and peopled watched the rest of the day. Who doesn't love the beach!

Yesterday was the low point of my weekend... First and foremost I was alone, which generally isn't a problem, but yesterday it got to me. I didn't get the chance to see my step dad, which bummed me out, and it only being a year and a half since my dad passed, somehow it all added up. It's crazy how Father's Day isn't one of those days where your friends invite you over to join along in their festivities. I mean c'mon... I've been invited to Thanksgivings and Christmas dinners, but I totally get it. What I should have done when my family cancelled last minute Saturday, was pack a bag and head north. But with this week being so full, I felt that would exhaust me for the one night and then I'd be behind my game. It's times like this when my current situation makes me question decisions of the past. Oh well, not much I can do about it!

For now... gotta get through this week.

40 days to go...

Day 325 - In an effort to be more cheerful... (thanks for the text saying the blog has become depressing!) I am going to refer to the saying every mom has blurted at least 5 times in their life... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" And while I do not wish to be quiet... I guess I better be perky and spill all the good stuff that's been going on!

I had a wonderful day yesterday with the new beau, and our daughters. We spent the afternoon lunching al fresco, then headed off to a resort for a swim in the pool! The girls were very well behaved and a great time was had by all.

I know my spirits would be up more upbeat if I got to see him more, I do enjoy his company. He is currently busy with pre-production meetings, recording sessions, and all sorts of work stuff. And, unlike my job it's not a consistent schedule. Depending on whether or not he has his daughter, he will get stuck in the studios until well past my bedtime. Hopefully things even out a bit and we can schedule more time together. We really have been having a great time when we do hang, but this once a week junk is killing me!

Last weekend was jammed packed... and apparently I just wasn't in the mood to write about it. Friday night we went to a "food truck" event, where all sorts of gourmet and specialty food trucks congregate. We had a blast ordering all sorts of yummy food. Unfortunately some of the lines were a tad long, but with this being our first adventure we weren't too picky. Then we did a little drag racing... nothing like throwing the pedal to the floor and thrusting your head back!

Saturday was a beautiful day that started with breakfast at a cafe, followed by a drive at the beach. At some point he decided the waves were nice enough for a little surfing, so off to the sand we went. I relaxed on the beach listening to music and reading while he surfed a few sets. We spent the rest of our time on the beach just talking... Definitely a day I could get used to.

We had planned to prepare dinner for our friends' birthday at my place, so off to the market's we went. And yes that was market's... first stop was the fish shop, then the bakery for bread, and last but not least Whole Foods. He attempted to apologize for making so many stops and I had to shut him up.... HELLO do you have any idea how NORMAL it is for me and my family to frequent a minimum of 3 shops for one meal... c'mon... doesn't everybody! OK, maybe we are the exceptions... I gotta hand it to him, I loved his tenacious spirit as we shopped. Dinner turned out fabulous and our guests were pleased and entertained. He and I manned the kitchen and the grill and our teamwork was impeccable! We had a blast cooking together, such an admirable quality, and one of my requirements. All in all things are moving in the right direction.

Had a brief chat on Friday with Mr. P, crazy how I still miss him and have yet to let go. I'm working on it though... kinda!

41 days to go...

Day 344 - I've had a really bad case of writers block.... actually that's a lie, I have had plenty on my mind to say, just haven't been able to come up with the words. This blog is such a reminder, and one with which I am not wanting to face.

I have come to the near end of my one year journey, and yet I am steps closer to what? Happiness, love, companionship? They are there in short bursts, luckily for me, I can always make the most out of any situation.

I think I am heart broken... for the second time. But this one is different... I signed up for this one

I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually

50 days to go...

Day 315 - I bought my tickets for Texas today, and yet for some reason that just doesn't seem as exciting as it used to. I am doing my annual weeks trade show and family time. Wonder if I will visit my friend for a cup a tea... Easier said than done.

All is well on the home front, had a wonderful weekend up at the ranch for Memorial, yes that would be two weekends in a row! We "spit a piggy", which I think it may have traumatized the daughter a bit! Great family and friends, eating and drinking in the barn... always a good time.

This week should be quick and painless... Yeah right, whenever I think that way, somehow I manage to twirl my cosmic world off whatever axis it is on and something catastrophic happens... ok maybe I exaggerate just a tad too much!

55 days to go...

Day 310 - I'm not quite sure where to begin... I've completely been neglecting my blog, obviously for technical reasons, but a few personal ones as well. The countdown that I so eagerly wanted to do 310 days ago, totally bums me out. I wouldn't say I am where I wanted to be, or for that matter where I thought I wanted to be, and yet I am not disappointed with where I'm at. I guess I thought my fairy tale love story was going to have a happy ending, unfortunately this Meg Ryan movie has taken a turn! It was silly of me to have had the thoughts swirling through my head, but hey a girl can hope!

The reality is I am 55 days away from another day in July... no big revelations there. I'm not crushed or heartbroken. I do feel a little bit of emptiness, but it's been there for months, and I'm a pro at pushing it aside. I knew my "love story" was going to have to be rewritten, and slowly I am doing so. Who knows why I had such intense feelings for something so unavailable or unattainable. It was probably me trying to protect myself. But, truth is I fell in love with someone who made me laugh, made me think, and I enjoyed his brief company. Lessons learned my dear child!