My Beautiful Girls

I spent a lovely day at the beach a few weeks ago with my girls which resulted in our first holiday card.  I know I am partial, but I do have beautiful daughters... just thought I'd share.

Not so little brother...

So the cutie next to me is my not so little... lil' brother.  He happened to pop in the door late afternoon, just before dinner on Thanksgiving.  It has been almost a year since I last saw his baby face.  He is enlisted in the US Navy and has been away at school for nearly two years.  The little terd-ball made me cry, apparently the reaction he was hoping to get!  We had a great few days together and squeezed in another "cousins annual outing" that Friday night.  Each year there is a new victim, and with me being the eldest, luckily mine has passed!

Another wonderful Thanksgiving, (with the exception of my sister being abroad) Truly amazing friends and family surround my heart.

(awesome picture by the way in the backseat of the car... NOT, but I take what I get!)

Mr. P

For nearly a week now I have been having wonderful brief chats with Mr. P... Somehow I manage to bring him back into my world when I need some encouragement or a pat on the back.  His choice of words and banter has always cheered me up.  For now, he is still serving a purpose!  Maybe someday we will meet again, although not sure what the connection will be at that point.  He used to be so heavy in my heart, but slowly time has lightened my load, or more so survival instincts.

Keeping things brief tonight...

I wonder if I made a flip book of my life, what would be my soundtrack?

Stole this from a friend... but really, who doesn't love it!

Interesting...

Strange, strange week I had...

First off I apparently broke up with my dear friend Jeff... the 44 yr old neighbor, whom I never started dating. We met up last Saturday night for a few drinks with some of my friends. Afterwards, we headed over to a club to watch a band preform. At some point the whole relationship topic came up and the fact that he and I were "dating", (of course with absolutely no, zero, zilch form of intimacy). I gently reminded him that we aren't dating and he needed to stop trying to put a label on us. Like I've said numerous times before, I love his company, admire his drive and personal success... but I don't want that type of a relationship with him. At that point I think he tried to kiss me, mind you some alcohol is to blame for his actions! So I had to put him in his place, which left the week a little awkward for us. I did manage to run into him at the gym one day, but he told me he needed his space and headed out of town for the weekend. Strange...

The rest of the week was fairly normal... Took the girls to get our pictures taken, which by the way have turned out great. I will be posting them as soon as I narrow the 90 options down to a sizable number! Had a great chat with Mr. P. He seems to be doing well in Seattle, which makes me happy for him, oh and he sent me a great play list of music to enjoy. Cooked at least two fabulous dinners for my dearest friends. Which by the way, I think Matt is beginning to think he has two wives! I don't mind and neither does his wife!

After my posting of drummer boy the other day, I decided to call him. We both have been so busy with our careers, but I reminded him we were supposed to still be friends! I threatened, of course in a joking manner, to delete him as a friend on Facebook... which actually wasn't to far fetched. I think I may be severing those ties in order to move on. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to see what he is doing or where he may be going and not long to be a part of it. Darn me for always remaining friends with guys, well at least the two I fell in love with! It sure was much easier with Mr. G and Mr. M!

I am sure there were a gazillion other random things that happened, but I I have finally grown tired and will be getting some sleep eye!

Acheté mon billet à Paris ... Woohoo

I finally bought my tickets to Paris to see my sister and my future brother in law! *hehehe... not sure if he knows he is my future brother in law!** Finally something to look forward to.  For now I will slowly begin to build my Paris wardrobe and get ready.

Happy!

Drums please

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2626318576079

So usually I keep things pretty private on here.... but this time I am exploiting!  I am trying really hard to get over this one.  He was just the recipe I was waiting for.  The link shows him being silly this passed weekend at a show he preformed locally.  It's times like that I miss him the most.  He is always so positive, optimistic and fun, not to mention a tremendous cook and a terrific father!  I sure miss my little drummer boy...

Dia de los muertos...

Last night we attended our 3rd annual Dia de los Muertos festival downtown. This is an event we went to with my dad a few years ago, and have now made it a tradition of remembrance. Last night was by far the best year to date. There were more altars, more vendors, plus great live music in addition to all of the folkloric dances. We finally got our faces painted in the traditional style... something we have wanted to do the last few years but the line was always too long. Not to mention the weather was perfect. All in all a great night was had by all.

Amber + 1

Apparently I was a busy blogger Friday... truthfully the servers at work were down for maintenance so I was keeping busy updating... and playing with my photo programs!

So last Tuesday I managed to buy a new car... this Tuesday I've decided to send it back, well exchange it. I wasn't even in the market for a new car. I happened to have taken mine in for service and was informed I needed new brakes, which I opted to pass on and research a bit. The next day someone from the dealership called claiming they wanted my car back. Apparently the pre-owned cars are in high demand and at the rate I'm currently driving the car is worth more to Audi now than when my lease will be up (note to self... I drive to much). Audi has a great buy back program as well as loyalty discounts so I was able to get the same car, same color with a few new added features. I loved my A4 sport... it was perfect for me. I thought it was fun, peppy to drive and made me look sexy! This new car is exactly the same except I got the quattro engine (all wheel drive), the new led lights and heated seats. All in all its a great car, however it doesn't sit as low to the ground as mine did and the wheels aren't as sporty... no big deal right. I mean c'mon, I just got a brand new car without a penny out of my pocket and my payment is pretty much the same. Also I saved $1500 since now I don't need new brakes, didn't have to make my car payment and the registration that was due is no longer my issue. Problem is... I found out Sunday night the back seats don't fold down. This is a BIG issue for me. I have three dogs and a 7 year old.... I am always folding my seats down to transport my gang. Not to mention the random pieces of furniture and accessories I am shoving in my car, I am a designer by the way! So this is a "no go" for me. I called the dealership and we are in the works to exchange my car. Who knows what I will be driving.... I am starting to regret this whole idea and really just want my old car back... it was perfect and only needed brakes!

Anyways.....

The explanation of my title.... Sunday night is the release party for the TV show. All cast has been invited to a private party to watch the final cut of the pilot... that is all cast and a guest. Problem is I don't have a plus one! I am so sick of being reminded of my lack of obtaining a plus one! I could easily ask Jeff to go with me... problem with that is he is constantly labeling us as dating and I am constantly reminding him that is not the case. If I ask him to accompany me it further justifies his argument! Don't get me wrong, I love Jeff to death... he is a great friend, always there for me... a terrific mentor, educating me and guiding me along the way... problem is he really likes me... and not in the way that I like him. So here I sit, prolonging my response to the invitation... Amber + NONE, totally bites!

Vintage Ranch Wedding...

I'm not going to lie.... this was an absolutely perfect wedding....

fall in the vineyard (sigh)
These are photos from the guests that attended Mark & Kaylin's wedding... the professional ones from the photographer have yet to come... (I can only imagine!) I was the finishing coordinator for this event, taking duties away from the bride the day before the wedding, working with the vendors and of course all of the aesthetics... Again another job I loved doing! The wedding went off with out a hitch... on time, guests all attended too, and a peaceful bride... may I say job well done!

This reinventing Amber is coming along well....

Potluck

I decided it was time to share some pics from the set design project recently completed (truth is, I have finally figured out how to play with my photo program!). I thoroughly enjoyed this segment of design. It was completely different than anything I have ever done and brought out a new level of creativity. Needless to say I loved it! Unfortunately it's not fees-able as a full time career for me at this point, but most definitely something I intend to dabble in. Hopefully I left enough of an impression to be remembered by!
Next week we have our "wrap" party and will be get to see the final release of the pilot.... fingers crossed all went well!

First pic is of course the film marker.. It lists the director as well as the director of photography. These guys were great to work with not to mention their crews were top notch. The middle pic is one of my favorite sets... This was the "stoner's" pad.... hence the haze in the room! And the last pic was of my film debut as a caterer! I have a ton more to share but not sure if I will ever get around to sharing, as I have so many other stories to tell...

Au revoir... À bientôt

Just wanted to take a sec to say thank you to my little sister. The past few weeks went by way to fast but I loved the time we got to spend together. Fingers crossed March comes around quickly... Love ya to death... and "dang Gina"... we looked good!

Shiny New Toy...

I love the analogy of the "shiny new toy". This phrase has been rummaging in my head these past few weeks and today I've decided to get it out! According to the Urban Dictionary, I know such a reliable source, the "shiny new toy" is "the new kid at school who gets all the attention because the kids all want to know what they're like". Eventually this "effect" wears off... but for now, I am the shiny new toy, well sorta! Allow me to elaborate... (as if I wouldn't)

A few weeks ago I attended a backyard BBQ of one of my cousins. He is a few years younger than me, however his sister is just my age. Last year he married a wonderful gal, and from time to time all of the cousins get together, in fact I think I have shared a few photos of our gang. Anyways, I am at their house in the backyard sipping wine and chatting away. The majority of the guests are young professional couples with a few little tykes running around. For the most part there were three single gals, myself, my cousin (the sister of the bday boy), and an additional girlfriend of the bride, and one single guy. Keep in mind these two girls are a part of this group, and have been since high school. Here I come as the "shiny new toy" who has only recently been around since their wedding, and my new found free time of being a single gal! I of course mingled well and talked with whomever, held a few babies, played a few games... basically I was social and didn't hide in a corner. I had intended on staying the night as it was a bit of a drive back to my place and I had the liberty of enjoying myself. At one point I had a conversation with one of the husbands as we were standing next to the stereo, mind you his wife was there the entire time!!! We were going back and forth about music and he was scanning through my iPod as it happened to be the one we were listening to at the time. I was sharing some of my favorite bands and telling him about the Gomez show I just went to with my parents. Well turns out his wife cornered my cousin in the kitchen flaming mad, apparently I was throwing myself at her husband! Umm darling, you were sitting right there... and the conversation was all about music! I happen to NOT be on the prowl for married men. Luckily my cousins' laughed it off and we continued our evening just fine. PS... the other married men were WAY cuter!

Now for the more recent event...

Monday night I joined my friends' group, (the firefighter neighbor guy... from last year) on an outing to a concert. There were a total of 14 of us limo bound to see the Foo Fighters. Again there were couples and a few of us "single" folk. All of the males were either firemen or police officers... which I came to the realization earlier this year, are NOT my type. Again I was the shiny new toy to this group and it was oh so obvious. Luckily for me I randomly ran into a couple of girl friends while waiting in line and managed to escape the group for the majority of the concert. I had consumed a few drinks but stopped early in the evening and continued with water for the rest of the night. Obviously driving wasn't an issue as we had a limo, but I did have responsibilities at home with my critters and an early morning with work. The limo ride home got interesting to say the least... this group likes to have fun, and believe me I am all for it.. but I happened to be stone cold sober and they were "saucy" drunk! I had been receiving the majority of the attention from three single guys, I was polite but also cautious to not lead anyone on. My friend... the one person I knew of the entire 14 people managed to come over and chat for a bit. We caught up on some small talk, nothing serious and again in a frickin limo with 12 other people ... and what would you know.. his girlfriend ends up crying in the corner.

Note to self... dont be the "shiny new toy"... with a bunch of drinking females!

Ladies I am not on the prowl for your man. In fact I am currently not in the market for ANY man! Focusing on myself... and being selfish doing so!

Catch up...

I've got an incredible amount to catch you up on... and a scattered brain to go along with it! Unfortunately more recently life hasn't been that great... but just prior to my recent turmoil, things were chugging along.

Currently I am in the midst of getting my sweet Malcolm back to good health. He is my 11 1/2 year old black lab and admittedly my first baby. He is such a sweet love and I am doing all in my powers to keep him around a bit longer. I came to terms a few days ago that I would be putting him to sleep, and it broke me. I've been through so much these past few years, and he has been my one constant, always there for me. When tears were flowing he would do his best to cheer me up.

For now I leave you with this and hopefully my spirits will lift so I can get back to writing.

TGIF

Friday, thank goodness... wasn't sure I was going to make it through this week! I managed to survive my Canada trip and U.S. customs kindly welcomed me back to the States. I have not been my chipper self these last few weeks and it's catching up with me. The tell tale signs of Amber being unhappy have kicked in. The house is not nearly as spotless as it usually is... The manicures and pedicures have gone along the wayside... and my gym membership is getting a little dusty. I'm just not focusing on my upkeep! It's funny how something flagged me on Facebook today and reminded me what I was doing a year ago. Apparently I was at the shooting range falling in love with a gun!

Luckily in the midst of my pity party my sister came to stay a few days. We are throwing a dinner party tonight for my usual gang. This is generally my method of motivation! It forces me to do something I love, eat, drink, entertain and cook... while also making me clean the house! So I am headed to the market to gather some goods and get to work....

Read an article the other day by Bethaney Frankel... and strangely I got something out of it.. I've never been a fan of hers, actually knew nothing about her but this is something I will elaborate on later...

Bye for now.

Oh Canada...

I am sitting in my hotel room getting settled for bed. I am in London, Canada, just outside of Toronto on a business trip. I picked up this distributor in July and they have invited me to their internal trade show/expo to educate their sales force and meet some of their key dealers. I do this every year in Texas, but this is my first trip to Canada, as this is a new distributor. Nothing exciting there, other than the fact that this is a new group for me, and I'm the new girl in town! Of course I've only just arrived and haven't really set up... but not too shabby!

On a side note, I met a really cute guy on my flight out here. Go figure... apparently I tend to do better in confined spaces with captive audiences! This guy happened to be traveling to Toronto for a film festival... and I happen to NOW be a set designer! Crazy, I would have never had anything in common with this guy until now. While the conversation was casual, we did manage to trade magazines... he gave me his InTouch, and I gave him my Rolling Stones! (strange!) I now know all of his contact info including his address, and he knows mine! We all know what happened last time I contacted someone I met on a flight... let's see if I get the courage to do it again!

For now I am going to focus on my trade show... I mean c'mon... French Canadian... I'll have something in common with my sister!

How many hours in a day?

So yesterday was killer... For some reason I woke up at 3:30 am, obviously my nerves. Too much going on in this head of mine. We started the second location shoot, which originally I predicted to be easy... the only thing it was easy on was the budget. I got there at 10:30am to prep the set and get my work done... I did not leave until 2am. Basically I am beat today!

It took forever to get things rolling yesterday. The first scenes took nearly 5 hours. Then flip the cameras to get different angles... No wonder movie prices are so high! All in all it was a great day and night of filming. I happened to be sitting with the guy who archives all the film prior to sending it to editing so I caught glimpses of what is to come. I even managed to watch my scene from Friday... thinking I should fill out my SAG application!

All in all I am doing a fantastic job keeping busy and preoccupied...

OH and on a side note.... RANDOM text from Mr. P! Didn't see that one coming and threw me for a second. It was a quick chat, nothing crazy, just a friendly hello. Nice to know you cross peoples minds...

Asta la Vista....

It's the official end of summer. The beaches will be bare tomorrow, not as if they weren't today. I spent my final summer weekend at my friends beach house in San Clemente, unfortunately so did the clouds and rain drops. Did they not get the memo that we were entitled to one last weekend?

We had a mellow and relaxing weekend sans sun and sand. This morning I awoke early to watch the sunrise on the beach and feel the spray of the waves. I realized this was my 6th weekend in a row of being away from home. Apparently I have a problem with where I live... no surprise to me! After packing up from the beach house, I took my girl and we headed up PCH for a drive. We stopped for a quick bite to eat, and later on met some friends to chat. It was obvious I was delaying our drive to return home. I can't wait to get out of this town, luckily I am nearly a third of the way through my real estate school. Thanks to the help of my dear friend Jeff!

This week should be a short and quick one for me. Tomorrow we begin filming at our second location. This one happens to be an actual residence that only needs some de-cluttering and major space planning. Not too much of our budget will be going into this shoot. I plan to get up early, get my girl to school, head off to work for a brief bit and then head to the location and get to work. Luckily this is only a one day shoot as opposed to the last one that lasted 3 days.

Thursday I am headed to Toronto for a trade show for Blingstar. I am excited to visit Canada, even if it is only Toronto for a few days. It is always nice to get away and just sell. It happens to be something I am very good at.

Friday and Saturday I was busy with "art direction". Friday was our first day of filming and for the most part all went well. Saturday I had to redress the set and focus on the continuity of the props. I am beginning to recognize this stuff in the shows I watch now. After filming I headed to the race track with my dear friend. It has been years since I have been to the track. This is something I completely relate to my ex. His family has been into horse racing forever. In fact at one point, he and I owned our very own race horse. I managed to get into a few areas of the track as an "owner". I forgot how much I missed this sport, the atmosphere and the people.

I am beginning to notice how much I am longing for two particular individuals. I wonder how much time must pass before they aren't in my thoughts. Mr. P and Mr. D have set the bar high for the next guy. Mr. D actually took Mr. P out of the equation for awhile... but with Mr. D moving into the "friend" category and our infrequent chats... Mr. P is in my thoughts again. For now I will continue to focus on my work... luckily I have plenty to keep me preoccupied. And when the time is right... the next one will present himself to me.

Casting Call

Rise and shine.... Today is an early day for me. We have our first scenes being shoot today. Lucky for me this is the easiest set. It is an exterior warehouse scene which requires minimum dressing. This scene however, is where I make a cameo appearance as a caterer. So I am off early to set the props, next head over to hair and makeup, and then make my acting debut!

I am loving this new area of design. It is no comparison to anything I have done before. With regular design and event planning, generally I am working with new items. With this particular project I don't believe we have purchased anything new. We have shopped craigslist and every thrift store in our area. In fact, yesterday as we were heading home from delivering a load of furniture to one of the locations we grabbed a sofa off the side of the road! The sets being designed consist of a governors office, a warehouse reception office, the interior and exterior of a warehouse, and two "crash" pads. Also their is an actual residence being filmed one night and a press conference scene. All in all very random, messy and for the most part cluttered rooms that can't look new!

Hopefully I will have tons more to share tonight after filming. For now its off to the set.... and "ACTION"

PCH... aka Pacific Coast Highway

Two weeks ago my dear friend Jeff asked me to write my goals down. His assignment for me, was to figure out my 1 year, 3 year, 5 year and 10 year plan. He even gave me the "single option and with a companion option"! He says I am focusing and living on to short of goals... basically he didn't like my 6 month forecasting! I was to determine how much money I wanted to make in those time frames, where I wanted to live and what I anticipated to be doing. So yesterday... since I am at the beach, I took a drive before I hit the sand!

I know I don't want to live in suburbia inland. I have known this for quite some time now, but have been reluctant to get the hell out of there for many reasons. I no longer fit the mold for the area, and honestly don't need to be there anymore. I need a different vibe! So yesterday I started in Newport Beach and drove PCH south to San Clemente. I so miss the coast, the small shops, the busy streets, and people walking everywhere! Ideally I would love to be in Corona del Mar... realistically I'll end up in Costa Mesa... which for me is perfect, as long as it's east side. I stopped at a juice bar... got a healthy blend, went to the french bakery... grabbed a few baguettes... opened my sunroof... cranked my music up... and headed south. Since then I've been searching online for houses!

Seriously gotta get moving :)

Off to the beach....

Lucky me... as my last free weekend rolls around before my complete craziness starts, my dearest friends have offered me their beach house for my enjoyment. They sensed my disappointment in the weeks activities with Mr. D and knew I just needed to get away. So in a few moments I will be heading coastal. The car will be packed with cheese, baguettes and wine... what else does a girl need to mend her wounds and clear her head. I plan to read a little and lay a lot.. on the beach of course!

A bit of solitude should do me some good... :)

The time has come...

So my blog has become increasingly boring... or rather non existent, and for that I do apologize. Life has been a bit hectic these last few weeks of summer and now that school has started, it has taken me some time to get back in the swing of things. All in all life is moving along.

My situation with Mr. D was chugging along perfectly, that is until today... today it came to a screeching halt. Why is it I finally am interested in someone, and whatever the cosmic forces that be, just wont let it happen. It became more and more difficult to see one another with our lives schedules. The timing was off and we both sensed it. Sad thing is, it seemed as if we both wanted it to work out so much... everything seemed perfect, but neither of us was 100% in. He is very dedicated to his current work and projects, and rightfully so. I on the other hand was still putting the pieces of my heart back together and wanting so much for this to be the one. It didn't help that he is so darn attractive... and great at music and cooking! Instead a great friendship has been created and wonderful memories made. For now I am going to take some time from looking for Mr. Right... eventually (fingers crossed) he finds me.

I've got a great opportunity ahead of me with my latest venture... I have been hired on as an art director...aka set designer for a TV pilot. I am so thrilled to be working with this group of actors and directors. This is a completely new concept of design for me and one with which I have jumped right in. I will be EXTREMELY busy these next few weeks with our cram packed film schedule... and honestly I can't wait. Finally something to keep me too busy to realize I am still single! For now I have 5 sets to design, 4 of which are completely blank canvases, one of which is a residence that just needs minor space planning and accessorizing. I hope to post pictures in the next few weeks of the completed rooms and maybe some scenes of the filming.

For now the goal is to keep busy... Focus on the current projects at hand, which include the television pilot, the real estate school, and Kayden! Not to mention my day job at Blingstar... which by the way is shipping me off to Canada in the next two weeks. Keep busy who am I kidding... I am going to be gasping for air... bring it!

Going Back to Cali'

I'm home, and boy does it feel good! I had a great time in Texas, but nothing beats home. My family there is so wonderful to me and I treasured all of the time we got to spend together. The trade show was successful and the growth of my company continues... All in all it was ten days well spent.

Texas

I guess since there is no longer a countdown, I'm not real sure what I should be titling my posts. For now I am just going to go with the topic at hand...

Currently I am on my annual vacation/work trip to Texas. I have done this for the past few years, with last year being my most memorable. You see, it was this trip last year where Mr. P, asked me to experience the year and for me to explore my options. It was supposed to work out that once the year was over... he intended to sell his business and move to California where we could be together and start a relationship... Or so I thought back then. Silly Amber! Here I sit a year later... and NO Mr. P. In fact I have not, and will not be seeing him during this trip at all. The last time we saw one another was in November, and I think it has been at least 6 months if not more since we spoke on a phone. I did send him a text stating I was in town and we opted to not see one another. We briefly said our goodbyes via text, and I then promptly deleted his contact information from my phone. Crazy how it ended... at one point I truly thought I had a fairy tale in the making, or at least a killer Meg Ryan movie! Strange how life ends up taking its course and changing things.

I am not going to say it's been easy... because it has not! I am only two exits away from what was his office. I pass the Starbucks we used to meet at daily... and I have already visited the darn shopping complex where we would lunch twice! To be honest, the only time Mr. P has not been on my mind were the few days I spent in Austin. Which by the way were wonderful!

I needed the closure and have gotten it... maybe not in the manner with which I would have wanted, but none the less it's done. He no longer even lives here... since I've been here he has packed up and moved to Seattle...

Wonder if someone else is "sleepless in Seattle"... darn Meg Ryan movies!

-1 day to go...

Day 366 - I AM DONE!

Well folks its all over, that is my year where I was supposed to find myself and love! Thankfully I am at a great point in my life and the future looks fantastic. The recap of this week alone amazes me with all I have achieved and the goals I have put forth for my future. My life plan looks clearer and my goals attainable. Not to mention, I think I have found the "right" one!

I celebrated my 34th birthday this past week, cleansed my body with an amazing juice regimen, and kicked started my newest health routine. I've been working out for years, and for the most part eating healthy, but decided to step it up a notch and I feel fantastic.

I had an amazing weekend with Mr. D. in San Diego. Finally we had some adult time to reconnect and determine whether or not this was going to be a friendship with our girls... or something more. Friday he had a press panel where they launched his new television show. Saturday his band performed at the House of Blues, and then Sunday an additional press panel for Yo Gabba Gabba, where he is part of the music team. I've not had the chance to see him perform live, but of course had heard his music and may have YouTubed a video or two! It was no comparison! I sat backstage at the concert amazed at his talent and energy... such a little rock star! I saw a completely different side to him this weekend, his comradere with his band and cast mates, as well as his professionalism. More and more he keeps checking "ingredients off of my recipe"! He was such a "super" star this weekend in his own humble self, and I fell in love. This ones a keeper :-)

So for now.... do I continue to write? Change the name of the blog... 365 Part II?!?

I am going post some photo collages I have made from this past year in the next few days so stay tuned.

4 days to go...

Day 361 - I had a super duper terrific weekend! My Mom and Grammie drove down and brought my little girl back. They stayed a few days and we had much needed girl time. I loved having them here, with the exception that it makes the distance between us much more apparent. We lounged and chatted, did a little retail therapy and simply enjoyed each other's company.

Saturday I met up with Ashley and Branden for a little night out on the town (I had a hair appointment and you can't waste a great hair moment!). We started at a piano bar sipping on wine and singing tunes, and ended up at the trendy posh bar! Needless to say I spent the night on Ashley's comfy couch!

Sunday I had a wonderful lunch with Mr. D down at the beach. It was an absolutely beautiful sunny California day. He and I picked up our "cleanse" juices, which we started today. We had a great time together, even though things are a little different we most definitely enjoy the company. We've come to the conclusion while we both are very interested in pursuing this, the timing is bad for him. He is in major pre-production for two TV shows. Once his dust settles I'm sure we will be back in full force. In the meantime we will see one another when life permits! This weekend he is on two panels at Comic Con, for both TV shows. In addition, his band is performing at the House of Blues on Saturday night. He has asked me to accompany him this weekend to San Diego, which I have obliged. I am sure I will have interesting stories to tell.

Random coincidence... who knows, but I ran into my old neighbor the fireman, who I went on a date with exactly one year ago today. I was walking my dogs early this morning and he happened to be driving by in his convertible classic caddie. He pulled over and we chatted for a few minutes, turns out he just broke up with the girl he started dating shortly after we went out. Funny how life works some times!

Strange... I haven't checked my horoscope lately... maybe I will now!

9 days to go...

Day 356 - HOLY CRAP... single digits...seriously! If only I had some incredible news to share, but surprisingly I don't. I was supposed to spend this year finding myself and fall in love. Believe me I have found myself and she's still lonely! All humor aside, spirits are good and things are trucking along. I have made it through a crucial growth period. I am stronger, wiser, and have most definitely fine tuned what I am looking for in a partner. If someone could just send him my way it would totally make things easier.

I have managed to turn all of my "dates" this past year into friends, just what I needed more men in my life as "friends"! Apparently there is something about me that is special enough to keep the relationship going. One has moved away to NY, one sends friendly notes here and there, and one is most likely becoming my next business partner! The most recent one we are trying to figure things out... whether we should go the friend route since there isn't much time for the dating thing... or ride it out and see. I think the friend route is where it's heading, which stinks because I really liked this one...only time will tell.

My birthday is next week, and then shortly there after I fly off to Texas. With these two events ahead of me I joined a group of ladies in a 3 week weight loss challenge. Stupid stupid idea... but I am now committed. I have ordered a 3 day liquid cleanse from the local juice bar that I will start Monday. I also scheduled an appointment for a body wrap... yummy! In addition I have been pretty darn good about going to the gym... even if only for 30 minutes on my lunch break. I am going to breeze into my 34th year looking HOT, even if it's only for me to enjoy!

I finally enrolled in real estate school, my books will be here tomorrow. I expect it to take me about 10 weeks to complete the course and then schedule my exams. Realistically I hope to be selling by the the beginning of next year, but have set earlier goals for myself. Lucky for me I have great mentors assisting me in this journey. Not to mention my dating life is non-existent! I am just going to focus on this goal and start banking some money. I have big plans for next year!

17 days to go...

Day 348 - I managed to survive another holiday as the token third wheel.... Seriously I need to get new friends who happen to have single friends, this flying solo has got to change!

What could have been an awesome weekend, ended up being very simple. Friday was supposed to be a glam girls night out. I made reservations for us at a swank lounge on the coast for sunset,dinner, drinks, and music.. lo and behold we end up at a dive bar playing pool... gotta love my girls! At one point, on Sunday, my loneliness got to me and I managed to get my girl back early, she had been with her dad since Thursday. We escaped to San Diego to spend the remainder of the weekend with my girlfriend and her family. From there it was great company and good food! In between all that I squeezed in a movie with Mr. G, as well as a farewell, he finally moves to NY this week. It was great seeing him one last time.

I really wanted to spend some time with Mr. D, but his schedule was not cooperating. He is planning on coming over tonight, luckily for me I went to the farmers market last night so I have plenty to cook. Figured I'd make us a nice meal and we can get caught up on each others happenings. Things with him have been strange to say the least. We either have these incredible moments together where everything seems perfect... or the complete opposite...and I don't mean that in a negative way. Sometimes it just seems as though we are "just friends". It's the strangest feeling. If he wants to be "friends", I'm good with that he just needs to let me know. Last week he came with us to the beach house, mind you we both had our daughters, so it's not like expectations were high.. but a hug would have been nice! Ok maybe I am exaggerating a tad bit... I plan on getting to the bottom of it tonight! No sense in wasting time, I am a woman on a mission!

Other than that things are chugging along... just a little hotter than I'd like!

Beach Trip

Just thought I'd post a sampling of pics from our beach trip. I have begun following several blogs and have noticed mine is lacking images!

20 days to go...

Day 345 -

clo*sure \ˈklō-zhər\

noun
: an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality

: something (as a satisfying ending) that provides such a sense

: an end or conclusion

: the resolution of a significant event or relationship in a person's life, a sense of contentment experienced after such a resolution

Why you ask have I started my blog with a definition... As the end to my year rapidly approaches this is the one word I can't seem to get out of my head. My dear friend and I have had repeated conversations regarding this word, and my lack of it. Apparently it is obvious I am not over someone and finding it difficult to be. According to her it is due to the "lack of closure" in the situation. So with that I leave you with this question.... how does one get a resolution, without closure.... that is of course other than using my token phrase... "get over it"!

23 days to go...

Day 342 - I am having a hard time focusing today... I spontaneously rented a cottage on the beach for the night and am anxiously waiting to get the heck out of my office! The car is loaded and soon I will be sitting on the beach watching the sunset with a glass of vino..... can't wait!

Still 32 days to go...

Part two...

Had a great day... fabulous smells are coming from my kitchen... enjoying a simple glass of wine... and no homework this week!

And I sit here pondering...

do I post pics of the guys I have dated throughout the year... c'mon my 12 followers....

DO tell!

32 days to go...

Day 333 - I just took a brief stroll down memory lane, I really have had some ups and downs in this "almost" year. What an emotional roller coaster, but one with which I keep jumping on!

Summer for us is nearing close. K gets out of school this week... finally! Poor thing, I think the rest of the world started without us weeks ago. This week is pretty jam packed with awards assemblies, end of the year parties and minimum days. Hopefully it will go by quickly and we can be done with homework and early mornings!

This week was pretty quiet and routine. Only got to see the beau Wednesday. He made me dinner and we watched The Voice, he loves that show! A simple and fulfilling evening. The rest of the week and weekend he was overly busy writing and recording songs. It's definitely crunch time for him. Apparently they are late with the production of one of the TV shows he writes and preforms for, and his new show is just getting started. The whole thing baffles me and is so foreign. Truly I find it amazing how anything gets produced as most of it seems so last minute, unplanned and thrown together. That's Hollywood for you I guess, creative minds are sporadic! A few more weeks and his life should get back to some form of normal, or so he says... I just gotta hang in there... (he keeps reminding me)!

Friday I did a little nighttime research with Jeff. We are in the beginning stages of planning our business venture. We intend to open a wine tasting bar. A place where one goes to sample, experience wine, and become educated. It is going to have a mellow lounge feel, with live music, nice art, overstuffed chairs and sofas. One can sit and relax, in addition to sampling fine wines before buying a glass, or the bottle for that matter. He and I have mentioned going into business together for awhile now and finally agreed on our niche! So Friday we visited two local "wine bars" just to see how there systems worked. We actually were going to check out their dispensing equipment as I have been in talks with the manufacturer and have been given a list of places to see. To say the least, we were not overly impressed with either location.... they've done it all wrong. We have several more places to visit in three counties, lucky for us, this research isn't tedious! Right now we are in the beginning stages, him with his research on real estate, location, median income...blah blah blah, and me with design, we are putting together our business plan. So far we have lined up two investors and one sommelier! Not bad for our first venture together!

Saturday I was supposed to meet the family half way in Santa Barbara for a Father's Day lunch, but at the last minute they had to cancel. This left me with the day to myself and nothing really to do, thank goodness for the Morgan's! Chris happened to be sitting at a bar on the beach with two buddies watching golf and college baseball. So, Allissa and I headed towards the sand and joined them! It was a perfect day at beach. We sat in the bar, had a few beers and peopled watched the rest of the day. Who doesn't love the beach!

Yesterday was the low point of my weekend... First and foremost I was alone, which generally isn't a problem, but yesterday it got to me. I didn't get the chance to see my step dad, which bummed me out, and it only being a year and a half since my dad passed, somehow it all added up. It's crazy how Father's Day isn't one of those days where your friends invite you over to join along in their festivities. I mean c'mon... I've been invited to Thanksgivings and Christmas dinners, but I totally get it. What I should have done when my family cancelled last minute Saturday, was pack a bag and head north. But with this week being so full, I felt that would exhaust me for the one night and then I'd be behind my game. It's times like this when my current situation makes me question decisions of the past. Oh well, not much I can do about it!

For now... gotta get through this week.

40 days to go...

Day 325 - In an effort to be more cheerful... (thanks for the text saying the blog has become depressing!) I am going to refer to the saying every mom has blurted at least 5 times in their life... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" And while I do not wish to be quiet... I guess I better be perky and spill all the good stuff that's been going on!

I had a wonderful day yesterday with the new beau, and our daughters. We spent the afternoon lunching al fresco, then headed off to a resort for a swim in the pool! The girls were very well behaved and a great time was had by all.

I know my spirits would be up more upbeat if I got to see him more, I do enjoy his company. He is currently busy with pre-production meetings, recording sessions, and all sorts of work stuff. And, unlike my job it's not a consistent schedule. Depending on whether or not he has his daughter, he will get stuck in the studios until well past my bedtime. Hopefully things even out a bit and we can schedule more time together. We really have been having a great time when we do hang, but this once a week junk is killing me!

Last weekend was jammed packed... and apparently I just wasn't in the mood to write about it. Friday night we went to a "food truck" event, where all sorts of gourmet and specialty food trucks congregate. We had a blast ordering all sorts of yummy food. Unfortunately some of the lines were a tad long, but with this being our first adventure we weren't too picky. Then we did a little drag racing... nothing like throwing the pedal to the floor and thrusting your head back!

Saturday was a beautiful day that started with breakfast at a cafe, followed by a drive at the beach. At some point he decided the waves were nice enough for a little surfing, so off to the sand we went. I relaxed on the beach listening to music and reading while he surfed a few sets. We spent the rest of our time on the beach just talking... Definitely a day I could get used to.

We had planned to prepare dinner for our friends' birthday at my place, so off to the market's we went. And yes that was market's... first stop was the fish shop, then the bakery for bread, and last but not least Whole Foods. He attempted to apologize for making so many stops and I had to shut him up.... HELLO do you have any idea how NORMAL it is for me and my family to frequent a minimum of 3 shops for one meal... c'mon... doesn't everybody! OK, maybe we are the exceptions... I gotta hand it to him, I loved his tenacious spirit as we shopped. Dinner turned out fabulous and our guests were pleased and entertained. He and I manned the kitchen and the grill and our teamwork was impeccable! We had a blast cooking together, such an admirable quality, and one of my requirements. All in all things are moving in the right direction.

Had a brief chat on Friday with Mr. P, crazy how I still miss him and have yet to let go. I'm working on it though... kinda!

41 days to go...

Day 344 - I've had a really bad case of writers block.... actually that's a lie, I have had plenty on my mind to say, just haven't been able to come up with the words. This blog is such a reminder, and one with which I am not wanting to face.

I have come to the near end of my one year journey, and yet I am steps closer to what? Happiness, love, companionship? They are there in short bursts, luckily for me, I can always make the most out of any situation.

I think I am heart broken... for the second time. But this one is different... I signed up for this one

I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually

50 days to go...

Day 315 - I bought my tickets for Texas today, and yet for some reason that just doesn't seem as exciting as it used to. I am doing my annual weeks trade show and family time. Wonder if I will visit my friend for a cup a tea... Easier said than done.

All is well on the home front, had a wonderful weekend up at the ranch for Memorial, yes that would be two weekends in a row! We "spit a piggy", which I think it may have traumatized the daughter a bit! Great family and friends, eating and drinking in the barn... always a good time.

This week should be quick and painless... Yeah right, whenever I think that way, somehow I manage to twirl my cosmic world off whatever axis it is on and something catastrophic happens... ok maybe I exaggerate just a tad too much!

55 days to go...

Day 310 - I'm not quite sure where to begin... I've completely been neglecting my blog, obviously for technical reasons, but a few personal ones as well. The countdown that I so eagerly wanted to do 310 days ago, totally bums me out. I wouldn't say I am where I wanted to be, or for that matter where I thought I wanted to be, and yet I am not disappointed with where I'm at. I guess I thought my fairy tale love story was going to have a happy ending, unfortunately this Meg Ryan movie has taken a turn! It was silly of me to have had the thoughts swirling through my head, but hey a girl can hope!

The reality is I am 55 days away from another day in July... no big revelations there. I'm not crushed or heartbroken. I do feel a little bit of emptiness, but it's been there for months, and I'm a pro at pushing it aside. I knew my "love story" was going to have to be rewritten, and slowly I am doing so. Who knows why I had such intense feelings for something so unavailable or unattainable. It was probably me trying to protect myself. But, truth is I fell in love with someone who made me laugh, made me think, and I enjoyed his brief company. Lessons learned my dear child!

63 days to go...

Day 302 - I finally broke down and ordered internet from a different company, my installation appointment is in 3 days. Seriously AT&T... what was your frickin' problem! This girls needs her modern comforts.

Life is great and getting better. I'm happy, yay! Currently it is tough to blog with any depth or comfort. I'm not as inspired and forthcoming when I am sitting in my office at my desk in comparison to the comforts of my bed.

Tomorrow my troop heads off to the ranch for our 3rd Annual Wine Festival Weekend. This year will be our best thus far. Of couse, minus the absence of my sister, she will be greatly missed. Lucky for me in her place we will have the addition of Matt and Melyssa, Branden and Ashley, and drum roll please...... Mr. D! This is the first guy my parents will be meeting in my adult life, last one, I was an 18 year old kid! Strangely enough, I am not in the least bit worried, I guess at this point in the game I don't need any ones permission or approval. The next guy will look like an angel compared to my ex!

bye for now....

66 days to go...

Day 299 - Ahhhh... life truly is great right now, seriously. We are all settled into our new home, I've got my whole gang together (2 big dogs, one little dog, 1 big girl part time, and 1 little girl) I have been eating fabulous food and spending time with wonderful friends. My latest interest is turning out to be the best thus far. And really my only issue is the lack of internet and TV at home....**taps fingers impatiently**... come on AT&T! Which other than this blogging hasn't been much of an issue.

This past weekend was wonderful. I spent some quality time with Rylee and the remainder of my weekend with Mr. D and his lovely daughter. Oh yes... I've snagged another one with child! I wouldn't have it any other way, actually it is somewhat of a requirement. It takes a parent to understand a parent. We spent Saturday having lunch at the beach, playing in the sand and exploring the tide pools. That evening we had dinner with his family for his birthday. Mind you I have known this guy for several years, but always as an acquiantance, we never said more than 5 words to one another. I have always been attracted to him but for some reason turned into this quiet shy girl when he was around (I know... so not like me!). I know way more about him than he knows of me... girls talk more! We have spent the last month getting to know one another. I love people's perceived perceptions of me... and how that changes once they get to know me. Apparently I come off as this "goody goody", which I am... but filled with a ton of stuff in the middle! Its great when someone is peeling away my layers and meeting the real me versus the image I portray! There's a hidden gem inside who is fun, spontaneous and full of life!

71 days to go...

Day 294 - Seriously my horoscope for today ROCKS... it couldn't be more spot on!

The current planetary alignment encourages you to choose one person to be your partner out of many possibilities, each of whom may think that they have the key to your heart. You can't get to know all of them in any real depth, and this is what you will realize today. One of them is particularly special, so perhaps it would be wise to stick with them.

Who are these people who write these things!

By for now... have to go and get ready for what should be a terrific evening!

73 days to go...

Day 292 - My oh my... really not sure why my days become so complicated, thankfully I don't dwell on them too much. Last week consisted of one flooded house, one sick dog sent to the vet, one dead iPhone, and the new fridge I spent so much time finding took a shit! Seriously...! I also purchased a new washer and dryer and managed to flood my laundry room by not properly attaching the drain line. Sometimes this woman's liberation crap is BS... I NEED A MAN!!! So my recent UN-necessary purchases have consisted of a new phone, a new washer and dryer... (I was supposed to get my recently purchased set from the EX but low and behold he changed his mind!) And probably a new fridge.... all I wanted was my damn plane ticket to Paris and some frickin' patio furniture! Sorry to rant just had to get it all out........ Ahh much better.

Now for the good stuff... I had my annual "Cinco de Drinko de Mayo" party on Thursday. It was nice to break the place in and have my gang over for dinner and drinks. Everyone enjoyed themselves as did I, however Friday morning was a bit painful... in a good way! I also went on a date with... (what am I calling him.... guess I haven't given him a name yet) Mr. D. It wasn't so much of a date at first as it was a going away party for my cousin.. but honestly that is a BIG test for me, can you handle a room of strangers and not end up hiding in a corner playing angry birds on your phone. He passed with raving colors! After awhile we headed out for a drink. I thoroughly enjoy myself when I am with him. He is fun and laid back, yet his eyes show a deeper side. Our conversations are all over the place yet with a sense of comfort and ease. So far it is seems to be a great match. More to come I am sure.

I had dinner with my "old" neighbor Saturday night. A little awkward and honestly I will need to dedicate and entire post to this one. The evening was actually wonderful and had an amazing meal at a new restaurant opened by a Top Chef contestant. But... I am short on time and need to elaborate!

For now I am headed home to meet the appliance repair man and hopefully get some things handled at home...

PS... Mr. AT&T guy hurry up and put my DSL or Uverse in.... this lack of modern luxuries/necessities is killing me!

78 days to go...

Day 287 - I've noticed not having the internet makes life especially difficult to be an efficient blogger. Many things have happened in the last few days and posting on my phone is darn near impossible, I am a much better keyboard typist! So here I sit in my office updating, cautiously watching my employees!

The move is done! Hallelujah! It was far more difficult than the one last year. Fingers crossed this place is as good of a match for us, I do not want to keep doing this every year. For the most part I was done moving Saturday and spent Sunday hanging pictures and trying to make the place our home. It's strange for me living in someones home, for now it still seems like theirs with my stuff in it. My last three homes I either built, remodeled or was the first person in it. I have never lived in a place where I saw their belongings prior to my move in. It's weird, oh wait, I'm the one who is weird! All was going great and moving along until the main sewer line decided to back up on me Sunday evening. Here I am getting ready to walk to my girlfriends house for a much needed cocktail and dinner when all of the sudden the house starts flooding. In a panic... after I screamed, I called my girlfriend and my old neighbor to rush to my aid with push brooms. At that point we proceeded to remove my furniture from the house and push the sewer water out. Seriously... this house is only 6 years old... this should NOT be happening to me on my first day! Now the "shit" has settled, the plumbers have done their jobs.. and the disinfecting crew is there now. We are in, unpacked and pictures are hung. Things will be looking up for now.

I've got much more to post... haven't even brushed the current relations... but gotta run.... More to come later... hopefully!

82 days to go...

Day 283 - It is nearly official, well at least according to the post master general! We completed the second floor move last night, now all that is left is the third floor which consists of the two bedrooms. All in all it has been fairly easy. My body is bruised and battered and my knees ache, but hey I do make for a pretty cute moving gal! My partner in all of this moving has been Cesar, who also is my salsa partner! Thank goodness his wife is such a great lady, I've been working him at the shop till 4 and then moving me till 7 the past two days. Today will be the final load, then I will start the cleaning of this place then on to unpacking my many boxes. Seriously, why is the kitchen the worst room in the house?!?

83 days to go...

Day 282 - Can't sleep.... and really should be, I've got a ton on my mind. I started the move last night after work. Did one full load of the work van and trailer, which consisted of two sofas and the entire garage. Boy do I have a ton of stuff! Can't wait to be done with this and settled into my new place, I sure hope it is as good of a fit as this place was.

I guess I went a little overboard with my "fridge" analogy. Some people just don't get my humor, or lack there of! I must have just been in a silly mood and a little excited over my find. Not only did I get my fridge that night, I also happened to meet up and have dinner with my latest interest.

I am interested... enough said. I am trying very hard not to over think or analyze this one too much. Luckily I have been plenty busy with my move, making that easier. There is just something about him that almost seems too good to be true, and that scares me. He has so many of the characteristics I am looking for, not to mention is HERE and available! There is no act being played by either of us, we get to be ourselves. My dearest girlfriend has thought for years about the two of us, and she knows both of us to the core. She has seen the ups and downs of each of our lives, and I think strategically waited till she felt we were ready. Hopefully I will get moved in and settled soon, and see if or where this may go. For now I am a bit preoccupied.

Your world sparkles when someone smiles or embraces you. Maybe it's a promise, maybe it's just playing - what do you care? Just lose yourself in the moment and carry the memory with you later. If you ever have troubles with this or any other lover, don't forget what it feels like to be wanted. Yes, there's more to love than desire, but that kind of satisfaction is a reminder that can always stay with you.

85 days to go...

Day 280 - A little birdie said I was taking too long to post, need I remind her I am in the middle of moving, and currently pirating off of my neighbors wi-fi!

With my upcoming move I am in need of a refrigerator, and in needing so, I have determined my life is much like shopping for appliances.... Sad analogy but here goes, let's just hope I get my point across and do it justice!

For the past year I have been in living in a great condo, equipped with absolutely beautiful state of the art appliances. I have become accustomed to their individual features and almost dependent on them. We all know I love food, but in my family there wasn't always enough room in the kitchen for me to cook, I usually was put on the aesthetics committee or desserts. This kitchen brought the cook out of me, it is still young and learning, but I have spent the last year getting my dishes dirty!

I have been researching fridges for nearly 4 weeks, checking online sales and visiting local shops. The problem is, I know what I want, and know I can't have it (so like my life)! And why can't I have it... I'm moving to a rental, it's not my final place, who knows the longevity, and I have NO business spending absurd amounts of money on this appliance, especially when there are such extreme ranges on prices. At some point I turned to craigslist... and last night completed my first purchase. Now craigslist is all about strategic planning and compromise. It was a means to get close to what I want, and only sacrifice a few luxuries. I really had simple requests, but for some reason they were the few items that kept bringing the price up... I wanted a bottom freezer, cabinet depth, and an internal water dispenser. It could be black or stainless, that wasn't a requirement, the others were.

So I went out on my quest, searching for my perfect combo... my "recipe" of items that would make me happy! I broadened my buying area to obviously increase my chances of finding the perfect match. Last week I got really close, I found exactly what I was looking for, but of course no response from the seller. This quickly became a game of timing, I had to be one of the first ones calling, and flexible with my schedule, if I didn't show up cash in hand... the unit was gone to the next guy. This was serious business! I actually went out of town this weekend and totally ruined my chances on a few great models, lesson learned! Yesterday I printed at least 15 contenders... called and emailed the sellers and got a response from a few. I organized my findings first by price, then started narrowing in based on my "requirements", what was I willing to forgo to keep within my budget... and low and behold... there it was, my perfect recipe... well almost!

Next was the challenge of safety, here I am a single, fairly attractive woman, headed to the barrios of Santa Ana to check out a refrigerator some guy has in his garage! My girlfriend said I was absolutely crazy and that I needed to take a guy with me. As if I have a rolodex available for my liking, if that were the case I probably wouldn't be so enthralled with fridge shopping! Needless to say I took all safety measures available and bought the darn thing... it gets delivered on Wednesday. Lets just hope the unit works if not, I know where the guy lives, along with several other scary looking guys!

The point of my rambling... and boy did I have plenty to say, is deep down I know what I want, and what I am willing to sacrifice. I put a considerable amount of time and energy into this damn task, it was important to me.

Now if I would just do the same with my own life I am bound to find the perfect one... If only everyone was on craigslist and in my budget!

92 days to go...

Day 273 - OK... I put my finger on the neighbor, not literally of course! I'm simply not physically attracted to him. I've gone over it again and again and it's just not there. I thought eventually I would see past it, but that doesn't seem to be the case. He's a terrific guy without any faults (I have yet to find), I simply cannot get around the superficial stuff.... Does that make me shallow? I'm going to answer my own darn question.... absolutely not! This is about me and finding the one... I do not have to settle and it's not a race. I've got all of the time in the world. I keep finding more and more qualities and characteristics to add to my "recipe"... but physical attraction is most definitely staying! For now I will keep one more male on the friend column, luckily I was upfront with him in this area, and basically nothing will change.

Last night was an interesting night... I went on a date, and a fabulous one for that matter. A little background before I give you the details... I've known this guy for a few years, one of those friend of a friend kind of acquaintances. We see each other at birthday parties and social gatherings and have for the past 3 years. I met him pre-separation, but post affair. The possibility has always been there but I think our friends have been hesitant, probably wanting to protect each of us in their own way. He is a musician, a drummer to be exact, and when touring is obviously away. He's very easy on the eyes and I am sure has plenty of "lady friends, aka groupies"! We reconnected a few weekends ago at the Master's party my friends host, and a few days later he called me to chat. Last night we headed to LA and had an incredible seafood dinner, accompanied with wonderful wines and champagne. We met up with a few of his friends for dinner, and then headed over to a comedy show at a small theater. It was definitely an "LA" kinda night, the show didn't even start until 11pm! This suburb mom was a tad out of her element but managed to survive and to top it off had a great time. We chatted the entire time... mainly about food, music and our kids. He has a little girl I've met a few times. So for now it seems we are both interested. As far as my recipe goes.... love for music - check, foodie - check, attractive - check... seems like this one is headed in the right direction!

98 days to go...

Day 267 - My love horoscope for today...

"The planetary alignment at play today could slow down the process of getting to know someone special. For some reason your emotions are trickling rather than flowing like a stream. Perhaps this is a good thing, as it gives you a chance to consolidate the relationship so far. You may tend to take yourselves very seriously, but it would be wise not to. Try to do something lighthearted if possible."

Ok so this is definitely referring to my neighbor. We have been getting to know one another more and more lately. He is interested, while I am hesitant. He is ten years my senior, which actually isn't an issue, and to be honest we are having a great time together. The common interests are on par, as well as the intellect, conversation and career goals. As far as my "recipe", for the most part he has all of the ingredients! There is just something, I can't quite put my finger on it. I am taking this one very slow, extremely slow actually. I have been upfront from the beginning, stating I am only in this for the friendship, but I have begun to question things.... This one is very interesting!

100 days to go...

Day 265 - Well it's here, I am down to only 100 days left... Decided to take a jog down memory lane and read the post I wrote for day 100, back in October. It amazes me with how much I have done and how I have grown, in such a short time.

I had a great jam packed weekend. To recap it started with the opening day baseball game with my neighbor on Friday. We had a great night at the game, followed by a nightcap of hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps on the patio of restaurant with fireworks above. Saturday was the "Masters" golf tournament at my friends house. This was I think the third annual, bringing in 26 golfers this time! The guys have a blast golfing in the morning and then meet the ladies back at the house to continue the day with great food, drinks, and comradery. While I enjoy myself every year with this gang, this year I opted out early. My neighbor invited me to another ballgame, this time with his two daughters. We had a great night at the game that managed to go into extra innings! Sunday I finally got my butt back in the gym for an early morning yoga class, followed by a few hours with Mr. G, and dinner at home with the neighbor and our girls. Apparently I had every dinner with my neighbor this weekend! I may need to evaluate this relationship!

I managed to get a little packing done Sunday morning. I finally am looking forward to moving. I've been dreading it for so long, not the actual moving part, but leaving my little townhouse. I liked it here... Obviously it is not ideal when having a small pet, and completely out of the question with my big boys, but for Kayden and I it was great. But the new place is a house, with a small patio, large enough for a table and some chaises... Plenty of room for my gang. Lets hope the rest of my furniture fits! We will be happy there, that I know for sure!

102 days to go...

Day 263 - Its a beautiful Saturday rounding out this week. I am sitting here with a to do list a mile long, trying to figure out what order to put things in. Moving is tough... but we all know that! I should be getting dressed to go over to a party at my friends house, and while I am more than halfway done, I sit here clearing my mind...

This was a good week, an emotional one, but good nonetheless. I got divorced (yay!), and finalized where to move. However, I did manage to skip the gym, every single day. It is strange to say, I am missing my workout routine... random! Note to self.... get back to the gym, it really does make me feel better.

For some reason, I headed to a jeweler this morning to see if he was interested in purchasing my wedding ring. I decided I could sell it and take myself on a trip. I used to think I would never part with it and would eventually give it to Kayden, now I am not so sure. I see it in my jewerly box ever so often. It was a beautiful ring to me... at one point in my life, now its a mix of emotions. If I could only get over the anger and resentment, maybe I could keep it and remember the positive memories. I did manage to turn in some random gold jewelry I haven't worn in 20 years, mainly stuff from my Texas days. I came home with a $700 check! How's that for a Saturday!

Now the truth to the random clearing of my head.... this darn countdown..... In the beginning I was so eager to see this year fly by. It's as if I had some sort of prize waiting at the end, and in my little heart I felt as if I did. Now that I am approaching 100 days... I kind of want it to stop and slow down. Unfortunatley for me I have so much coming up these next few months, the time is going to fly by. I am going to get to the middle of July... and break my own damn heart! My dear friend... (oh who am I kidding), the man who has captured my thoughts and emotions for the past year is the one who asked me to take this year to myself. I suppose it was so I would move on and find someone or something else... and while the year is not up... I sit here thinking about him daily. I think about the "ifs and whens" and will it ever actually be, yet deep down I know it probably won't. Needless to say... I am going to be heart broken in July when I come to the end of my 365 days... and it happens to be just another day. Sometimes reality is not fair! For now I have to keep on living it for 102 more days and see where I end up.... and then what?

104 days to go...

Day 261 - It's official, I am FINALLY divorced. While I am ecstatic to have that chapter done and closed, it still is difficult to find joy in failure, especially when I have these beautiful little blues eyes to look at everyday and be thankful for. Now it's time to keep doing what I've been doing, enjoying life, finding myself, building relationships and truly living. If only I had more money to really live it up!

I had a wonderful evening of celebrations the other night. It was a mix of ladies who have crossed my life the past 10 years, some married, some divorced and a few who've never been down the aisle. All of which, who are in agreeance I deserve so much more than what I previously settled for. For now I am still taking notes.... picking a little something here, and a little something there, characteristics and qualities I am looking for in my next mate. It's like I am creating my own personalized recipe. While I am not going for perfection.... presentation counts, as does flavor! I know he is out there, fingers crossed he is looking for me.

Other than that, not much new on the home front. I've been socializing with my neighbor more and more lately. We have shared a couple of dinners at his place and mine. I truly enjoy his company and conversations, I only hope he doesn't get frustrated with me not wanting more. I was upfront in the beginning stating I did not think we should date. I feel he is too incredible of a person and we both have so much to gain from one another, we simply need take our time and just get to know each other. Friends for now... If something more ever comes it will be much later down the road. For now we have "faux" dates! Tomorrow we are heading to opening day for the Angels. Should be fun, just hoping I don't think too much about Mr. P, he was the last one I went to a game with there!

Day 110

Day 255... still!

My love horoscope for today... I really need to quit reading these darn things!

The movement of the heavenly bodies may encourage you to take action concerning someone to whom you are powerfully attracted. When you want something or someone, you are not shy about getting it. Fortunately, it seems that they may feel the same way about you, and so any arrangements that you make to get together will certainly be very successful. Make sure to wear warm and sunny colors.

110 days to go...

Day 255 - Well the wedding extravaganza for one of my dearest friends is now over. We had a beautiful white wedding in the local mountains here with fresh snow. Unfortunately it forced the outdoor spring wedding in, but we braved the cold for a few minutes to get some incredible photos. If I had one, I would post it.... but of course I don't! I could not be happier for the lovely couple, they truly have been the greatest support system for me and are wonderful people, not to mention my soon to be neighbors... (but I'll get to that later!) The wedding reminded me that I am still this hopeless romantic, longing for that partner to love, share and experience life with... crap did I actually just write that! It was a wonderful weekend with a terrific bunch of people...BUT not one single guy, seriously...! I had my usual wedding date of my Mom, Dad had to stay home last minute. I am turning in to that "old maid" whose only company are the old folks she hangs with.... Just teasing! I am down two weddings without a date... and the next two aren't until August and October... by then... hopefully my cards will have changed, if not, oh well! Now it's time to check one more thing off of my to do list and get back to focusing on my issues at hand.

Not sure if I have mentioned it or not, but we've got a place to live! We will be moving at the end of April to a very familiar street! It happens to be the street where I bought my first house. Some friends of mine are in the process of building a custom home and heard that my current lease was up. They offered to rent their house me. So we will be moving in a few short weeks back to a "house", with a yard, a pool and a grill, I couldn't be happier! I will have plenty of room for my boys, a yard to tend to, and not to mention one of my best friend 7 houses away. Kayden is so excited that Chris and Allissa will be our neighbors, but I think she is more excited that their two golden retrievers, Tyson and Cali, will be able to come play with Malcolm and Jackson whenever they want! I opted to stay one more year in Corona... but was very hesitant in doing so. I need to be close to an airport for when this new job ever starts, and thought Kayden being with her dad, and staying in the same school was the best plan. If my parents didn't live so far from an actual airport, moving up there would have made sense. But for now, I am staying one more year. In all actuality these years move by pretty darn quick!

That's all for this morning... I'll catch you up later on Mr. G, the neighbor... and anyone else I come across...

117 days to go...

Day 248 - My "love" horoscope for today, interesting I might add!

The present planetary alignment encourages you to think about making some changes in your relationships. These are not just minor surface details, but entail a far deeper look at some of the more entrenched patterns of which you may have been vaguely aware, but have not really tackled. All it needs is for you to make a beginning for things to improve quite dramatically. Go for it!

118 days to go...

Day 247 - So let me see where I left off... Sunday night with the cousins...We went bowling... and not just any ol' bowlin alley... we went to Lucky Strike and had a blast! It was much needed adult therapy, accompanied with great people. Now we are working on creating a monthly schedule where we actually get together and DO something!

Saturday I met my mom to get my girl back and had a mellow night at home, just us girls. Friday was a different story, had to cram as much in to that day, since my girl was coming home. I had plans to meet up with a girlfriend and get caught up each other's lives. It happened to be a beautiful afternoon so I left work a little early and we went out for a little outdoor retail therapy. She is such a beautiful person, one of which I used to have easy access to, as she was my neighbor, but now we catch up through the blog and quick visits here and there. Afterwards it was finally time to get my tires put on and a trip to the gym. Somewhere in the mix of all of that my neighbor, the one who had been texting me from Vegas all week, asked me to go grab dinner with him and possibly catch a movie. So I hurried home after my errands, quickly got dressed and we met up around 8:45. We decided on a quick bite to eat at one of the restaurant bars close by and a 9:40 movie. Well of course once we got started the movie quickly got vetoed! We closed the first place down at 10:30, apparently they close early! Then headed over to a closer restaurant to continue our conversation. I also managed to squeeze in a chocolate souffle! As 2 o'clock rolled around, we realized we were closing down another bar! Literally we sat chatting for 5 hours, and people watched. I cannot get over how fast the time passed. We had absolutely wonderful conversation, from everything to business, kids, life and relationships. I had a great time with him. Here is the problem, it is obvious he is interested in more from me, he flat out said so the next morning. He also mentioned he pulled back with the girl he was dating. I on the other hand, am not there. I enjoy his company and feel we are a great asset to one another in so many other areas of life. (that sounds horrible) While I am not saying I would not date him.... right now I don't feel the time is right. I see him as being a great friend and companion, not saying that couldn't turn into something later down the road. We even seriously were contemplating renting a big house together and being roommates. That could be a major issue! So for me it's a no go, at least for now.

I think that about wraps up last week.

119 days to go...

Day 246 - I've got a ton to get out tonight so prepare for this to be a long post. I'm probably going to recount backwards, as not to miss anything!

Today was a good day, nothing to over the top, but enough crammed in worth mentioning. I have my girl back after being gone a week up at the ranch. It is always fun trying to get her back into the routine of getting up and going to work with me... I have a few days left to get her ready for school. Tonight she and I had dinner with Rylee to celebrate her 16th birthday. It's crazy I have been with this little girl since she was barely 9 months old. I guess I shouldn't call her a little girl any more! I remember celebrating her 1st birthday and almost every year in between... the only ones I missed were the few years she was in Washington. She remembers all the birthday parties I threw for her (for those who don't know, her mother's side of the family does not acknowledge birthdays). I wanted to do something special, since it is her "Sweet 16" but in my current position as the "ex" figured a car was out of line! HA didn't want to show her dad up! I determined a trip to Tiffany's should do the trick. What girl doesn't love a little teal box with a white ribbon, plus it is a keepsake item and something special to remember me by. Oh and, also squeezed in a little library time with Mr. G and our girls. It really is so cute to see a father with his daughter, especially at the library doing homework and reading. I am very attracted to the "fatherly type".

Now for yesterday...hmmm... Oh yes! Kayden and I went to one of her friends birthday parties that Mr. G and his daughter also happened to be attending. But before that, in the morning we went over to Mr. G's house where the girls played for a bit and he and I got in a much needed workout. I really do enjoy working out with a guy. I used to meet Mr. M at the gym every now and then, and from time to time we would also go running. This is definitely something I will be keeping on the list of "likes", not to mention it is healthy for the relationship and me! While we were at the party, one of the child attendees who happens to know me fairly well and is not in the least bit shy, started announcing "Amber likes Mr. G, she thinks he's cute..." You should have seen the look on Kayden's face, as if this was news to her, she was in complete shock! It is absolutely wonderful what some parents share with their four year old children! My child on the other hand was just dumbfounded... as if her mom really thought any guy was cute! I keep her out of the loop... as I should! If I happen to interact with a guy I am interested in, it is always with the kids, and in no way ever appears to be anything more than a play date.

After the party I dropped Kayden off to see her dad and headed out to meet my cousins. We decided we all needed to start doing something once a month.

.... getting sleepy... to be continued, haven't even got to Friday night!