Day 46 - I am starting to get better at my time management! Heck with this blog, the career websites, and the dating ones... I have a keyboard attached to my fingers at all times.
I had a quick chat with an old high school buddy today. We plan on meeting up sometime next week. It's funny he and I... we spent 4 years together flirting like crazy and never crossed that line. Our best friends dated... we always went out and hung out together... and never went there. It wasn't as if there was not any attraction, from what I recall it was mutual but I guess we never wanted to ruin the friendship. Here we are 15 years later and we are going to hang out! Just have to see where that goes. I could definitely use a male friend. I miss that camaraderie.
Starting to get a little chatty with a "match" friend. Today I got the early morning wake up email and later the good night email. It's kinda nice, I sure have missed the chime on my phone letting me know I have a message. Maybe we will progress to a meet and greet!
Speaking of missing and emails.... really miss my pen pal these days.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
320 days to go...
Day 45 - Lets see I sure have some catching up to do on my blog.
Last week was fairly uneventful with the exception of it being the hottest temperatures of the summer, and my AC unit deciding to take a crap. My poor body was so drained with heat exhaustion I could not think to type!
The reality of my sister leaving is starting to set in. I had a wonderful time on Friday at her "work" going away happy hour. I got to meet a few of her coworkers and had a night out in L.A. It is obvious she and I are still in denial as to how far away she is going to be, and how soon it will be happening. We kept looking at each other with the "dont go there" look. She is moving out of her place tomorrow and will be up at the ranch the next few weeks until she leaves for Paris. Not like this year hasn't been tough enough... but this is going to be one more thing to add to my list.
This weekend was pretty jam packed for me! Friday was L.A., which meant I got dressed up all cute and sassy! (black pencil skirt, patent leather strappy heels, and a pink strapless ruffle blouse) Saturday had breakfast al fresco with a girlfriend and did a little faux shopping. For those of you who don't know, my faux shopping consists of buying things and not spending money! I had a few gift cards I cashed in! Got some gadgets at the kitchen store, some new makeup and lip gloss at Nordies, and a new sweater! Somehow I managed to have the MAC makeup lady schedule me an appointment to do my makeup in a week or so! She REALLY wants to do it! Yesterday started as a lazy day, slept in a bit... watched some old movies, then headed to the beach with a girlfriend. We spent the remainder of the day people watching, drinking beers and enjoying good company.
I am still lonely in the dating department, whats new! I did a little revamp on the online profiles which managed to get me more hits and "winks"! Just have to wait and see where that goes. The online dating scene is extremely comical! Most guys tend to send generic lines that you can tell they have cut and paste and sent to 20 girls. In fact it happened to myself and a girlfriend. One guy managed to email both of us and of course with the same "lame line"! Luckily I have a great sense of humor and called him out on it. He was honest about it and it made both of us laugh! For now we are just starting to talk and find out what we may have in common.
That's about all for now......
This week should be interesting with Kaley leaving.... sad face ....
Last week was fairly uneventful with the exception of it being the hottest temperatures of the summer, and my AC unit deciding to take a crap. My poor body was so drained with heat exhaustion I could not think to type!
The reality of my sister leaving is starting to set in. I had a wonderful time on Friday at her "work" going away happy hour. I got to meet a few of her coworkers and had a night out in L.A. It is obvious she and I are still in denial as to how far away she is going to be, and how soon it will be happening. We kept looking at each other with the "dont go there" look. She is moving out of her place tomorrow and will be up at the ranch the next few weeks until she leaves for Paris. Not like this year hasn't been tough enough... but this is going to be one more thing to add to my list.
This weekend was pretty jam packed for me! Friday was L.A., which meant I got dressed up all cute and sassy! (black pencil skirt, patent leather strappy heels, and a pink strapless ruffle blouse) Saturday had breakfast al fresco with a girlfriend and did a little faux shopping. For those of you who don't know, my faux shopping consists of buying things and not spending money! I had a few gift cards I cashed in! Got some gadgets at the kitchen store, some new makeup and lip gloss at Nordies, and a new sweater! Somehow I managed to have the MAC makeup lady schedule me an appointment to do my makeup in a week or so! She REALLY wants to do it! Yesterday started as a lazy day, slept in a bit... watched some old movies, then headed to the beach with a girlfriend. We spent the remainder of the day people watching, drinking beers and enjoying good company.
I am still lonely in the dating department, whats new! I did a little revamp on the online profiles which managed to get me more hits and "winks"! Just have to wait and see where that goes. The online dating scene is extremely comical! Most guys tend to send generic lines that you can tell they have cut and paste and sent to 20 girls. In fact it happened to myself and a girlfriend. One guy managed to email both of us and of course with the same "lame line"! Luckily I have a great sense of humor and called him out on it. He was honest about it and it made both of us laugh! For now we are just starting to talk and find out what we may have in common.
That's about all for now......
This week should be interesting with Kaley leaving.... sad face ....
Thursday, August 19, 2010
331 days to go...
Day 32 - It was awfully quiet today and I am lonely. This blog was supposed to be about an incredible year I am to be experiencing... why the heck to I feel like I am headed down hill? Hello girl, wrong direction... turn around, onward and upward!
Headed out tonight with a new friend... a single mom neighbor who also is 33! It's kinda like we should be doing this journey together!
Wish me luck for a better tomorrow...
Headed out tonight with a new friend... a single mom neighbor who also is 33! It's kinda like we should be doing this journey together!
Wish me luck for a better tomorrow...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
332 days to go...
Day 33 - I have been lagging at my blog, but in my defense I have had a lot on my plate. In a addition to writing and rewriting my resume and cover page, I have been looking all over the U.S. for available jobs. There are a few I am extremely interested in, however, I am sure there are many other people equally interested!
Today was an extremely tough day for me. Nine years ago today... I was lounging poolside in Maui just waiting for the sun to start to set and my wedding to begin. This morning was the complete opposite. I had a hearing in family court for the review of my restraining order and the possibility of my divorce being finalized. I knew my day was going to be interesting when my ex stormed out of the courtroom and opted for the alarmed fire exit, he always had to make and entrance or exit! Needless to say my divorce status was denied and my restraining order granted for a period of 3 years! You take the good with the bad, right! I really wanted to be divorced today.... I think moreso due to the date factor... In my opinion it just would have made this day each year easier to manage. It was too good to be true... ironic that the court had scheduled this date in the first place. I was pretty bummed earlier today, but looking back now I am over it. Eventually someday, hopefully in the near future I will be divorced! He can only fight it for so long... (control freak!)
Now I am back to just focusing on my next steps... find a job, decide where to live (stay or move?) and wondering if I will every find a companion!
Today was an extremely tough day for me. Nine years ago today... I was lounging poolside in Maui just waiting for the sun to start to set and my wedding to begin. This morning was the complete opposite. I had a hearing in family court for the review of my restraining order and the possibility of my divorce being finalized. I knew my day was going to be interesting when my ex stormed out of the courtroom and opted for the alarmed fire exit, he always had to make and entrance or exit! Needless to say my divorce status was denied and my restraining order granted for a period of 3 years! You take the good with the bad, right! I really wanted to be divorced today.... I think moreso due to the date factor... In my opinion it just would have made this day each year easier to manage. It was too good to be true... ironic that the court had scheduled this date in the first place. I was pretty bummed earlier today, but looking back now I am over it. Eventually someday, hopefully in the near future I will be divorced! He can only fight it for so long... (control freak!)
Now I am back to just focusing on my next steps... find a job, decide where to live (stay or move?) and wondering if I will every find a companion!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
336 days to go...
Day 29 - I have been thinking lately.... always a scary thought I know, but bound to happen. Alone time leaves me not much else to do but think. I am starting to think I keep myself busy so I wont have any alone time and have to answer to myself. (denial... not very healthy Amber!)
Am I on the right path? What is the right path for that matter? Somedays things seem so clear, and others not so much. I guess thats true with nature as well, beautiful sunny days, and marine layers that wont go away... How did I end up here... How did I LET myself end up here? (control freak) Today I am feeling very alone and emotional, having my own little pity party, how pathetic. (always been one of my favorite words) I am searching so hard... to find what... love... companionship. Am I supposed to stop searching and eventually it will find me? I am having a hard time with patience, I feel as though I have been waiting so long. The pity part of me keeps screaming WHY ME...., what did I do to deserve this... the more rational side of me chimes in and yells "shut the hell up"... I have a beautiful daughter, incredible family and friends all of which are in good health and are an amazing support system. But for whatever reason today, I feel like doing nothing more than crying. I guess I just want this phase to be over. I want to be past this era of my life... the one that has plagued me for the past 4 years. I want to wake up everyday content on where I am in my life. I sold myself short a long time ago... I haven't achieved what I set out for in life, I settled at to young of an age. That I cannot change and those decisions will be with me for the rest of my life. It is now time for me to do something, achieve whatever greatness I choose to create.
I love how I start writing this with tears in my eyes... and end up feeling much better by the time I am through. Sometimes just getting this crap out of my head is what I really need! I guess that is what journaling is...my own little pep rally!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
338 days to go...
Day 28 - Fairly uneventful day today... which at this point I will take!
The cute neighbor friend went and got himself a girlfriend...darn it! He would have been fun! (did I actually just type that?) I am still going on the beach cruiser pub crawl with him and his station buddies this weekend. Who can resist a bunch of firemen, riding bikes, drinking beers... I'm mean c'mon,, I may be new at this but I am no idiot! Lets just hope a few are single or at least have "single friends".
Had a tentative "lunch date" the other day that fell through... Is this the beginning of a pattern? Geez, I sure came out of the starting gates with a bang! No worries, I'm in it for the long haul... or at least 337 more days!
Gotta get my beauty sleep for now! Starting over again on my journey. This weekend should be promising... Next week is going to be horrific or terrific... have to wait and see!
The cute neighbor friend went and got himself a girlfriend...darn it! He would have been fun! (did I actually just type that?) I am still going on the beach cruiser pub crawl with him and his station buddies this weekend. Who can resist a bunch of firemen, riding bikes, drinking beers... I'm mean c'mon,, I may be new at this but I am no idiot! Lets just hope a few are single or at least have "single friends".
Had a tentative "lunch date" the other day that fell through... Is this the beginning of a pattern? Geez, I sure came out of the starting gates with a bang! No worries, I'm in it for the long haul... or at least 337 more days!
Gotta get my beauty sleep for now! Starting over again on my journey. This weekend should be promising... Next week is going to be horrific or terrific... have to wait and see!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
339 days to go...
Day 27 - I tried to update on day 342...but used my "mobile device" and apparently it didn't work!
I'm exhausted.... and have been for days. I have been on this crazy roller coaster of a ride called "Amber's world"! I do not even know where to begin to get myself, or you for that matter, caught up!
Lets see...
KayRae started her first week of school last Monday, we are 8 days in and so far so good! It is nice getting back into a routine. Still trying to iron a few kinks, but for now we are managing. Going from having to be at school by 11:13, to now having to be there at 8:00 was definitely challenging.
In the span of a week I lost/quit/got fired from my job..... however you choose to spin it. What one might think would be a traumatic or devastating event, I seemed to handle it fairly well. As much effort as I have put into that company since its beginning, I am sad to say I am sorta over it! I didn't choose that career path, I chose to work their for my family. I have dedicated over 6 years of my life to that business, building it, nurturing, living and breathing it.... It was not my dream, but at the time my husbands. Since that relationship is now null... I ask myself "why must I stay there"? Don't get me wrong, I have learned so much from owning and running my own business. I have learned how much of a mans world it is out there, but a pretty girl with brains and wit sure can get shit done! The phrase "if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself" is tattooed on my brain. It helps to have great employees... sometimes it just takes years to find them! I am seeing these experiences in my life so clear now as if I have some insight into what is coming next....
I have spent the past few days working on my resume and exploring jobs throughout the US. It's interesting to see whats really out there, no surprise that its not HERE in So Cal! Keeping my fingers crossed I found something that truly fits me, and can pay the bills.
Nothing new in the relationship department! Old ones keep coming back... (it's easy to put them back in their place0. New ones are hard to find. I'm starting to feel like a stalker.... and by no means does that make me proud. With all of this instant communication... emails and texting, I feel as though when you forget to say something, and you have to "write back" to express the thought you forgot and sometimes you just handnt even completed your thought process... In turn you send 3 emails in a row with out a response... makes me look and feel like a freak!
Ok getting tired... promise to get blogging into my new routine!
I'm exhausted.... and have been for days. I have been on this crazy roller coaster of a ride called "Amber's world"! I do not even know where to begin to get myself, or you for that matter, caught up!
Lets see...
KayRae started her first week of school last Monday, we are 8 days in and so far so good! It is nice getting back into a routine. Still trying to iron a few kinks, but for now we are managing. Going from having to be at school by 11:13, to now having to be there at 8:00 was definitely challenging.
In the span of a week I lost/quit/got fired from my job..... however you choose to spin it. What one might think would be a traumatic or devastating event, I seemed to handle it fairly well. As much effort as I have put into that company since its beginning, I am sad to say I am sorta over it! I didn't choose that career path, I chose to work their for my family. I have dedicated over 6 years of my life to that business, building it, nurturing, living and breathing it.... It was not my dream, but at the time my husbands. Since that relationship is now null... I ask myself "why must I stay there"? Don't get me wrong, I have learned so much from owning and running my own business. I have learned how much of a mans world it is out there, but a pretty girl with brains and wit sure can get shit done! The phrase "if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself" is tattooed on my brain. It helps to have great employees... sometimes it just takes years to find them! I am seeing these experiences in my life so clear now as if I have some insight into what is coming next....
I have spent the past few days working on my resume and exploring jobs throughout the US. It's interesting to see whats really out there, no surprise that its not HERE in So Cal! Keeping my fingers crossed I found something that truly fits me, and can pay the bills.
Nothing new in the relationship department! Old ones keep coming back... (it's easy to put them back in their place0. New ones are hard to find. I'm starting to feel like a stalker.... and by no means does that make me proud. With all of this instant communication... emails and texting, I feel as though when you forget to say something, and you have to "write back" to express the thought you forgot and sometimes you just handnt even completed your thought process... In turn you send 3 emails in a row with out a response... makes me look and feel like a freak!
Ok getting tired... promise to get blogging into my new routine!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
346 days to go...
Day 20 - I'm completely inspired to blog tonight, lying in bed watching Julie & Julia. What a wonderful movie.
This week has been a mess..... life altering to say the least. Monday started with the first day of 1st grade a milestone in itself. Followed by an afternoon of tension and walking on eggshells. Tuesday was slightly less eventful, but Wednesday took the cake! I was asked to leave my job and in the same breath... I QUIT! Hostile work environment.... Today I stayed home, worked on my resume and began searching for jobs. Surprisingly I am very optimistic of what the future holds. If I choose to go back to my company... there will be several changes that must take effect for me to even consider. I think they realized today how much of an asset I am to the success of the company. For now I am going to keep my options open and look at what opportunities are out there.
Tomorrow is a new day!
This week has been a mess..... life altering to say the least. Monday started with the first day of 1st grade a milestone in itself. Followed by an afternoon of tension and walking on eggshells. Tuesday was slightly less eventful, but Wednesday took the cake! I was asked to leave my job and in the same breath... I QUIT! Hostile work environment.... Today I stayed home, worked on my resume and began searching for jobs. Surprisingly I am very optimistic of what the future holds. If I choose to go back to my company... there will be several changes that must take effect for me to even consider. I think they realized today how much of an asset I am to the success of the company. For now I am going to keep my options open and look at what opportunities are out there.
Tomorrow is a new day!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
350 days to go...
Day 16 - Tomorrow my girl starts back to school... 1st grade here we come! With that life goes back to normal and routines kick in, summertime fun time is officially over. I've decided I am going to stop drinking this month, not that I was remotely out of control or anything. My girlfriend is getting married and we are really working on getting in shape for her wedding. She has decided to quit and I am following along in support. Plus she is my drinking buddy! In addition to staying out of bars... I am going to quit the dating game. I put 16 full effort days in and maybe had one date. It's not my scene... plus when you least expect it that's when something is going to happen.
So for now I am going back to being "mommy". Back to homework, dinner at home, and early bedtimes. Lets hope the blog doesn't get boring!
So for now I am going back to being "mommy". Back to homework, dinner at home, and early bedtimes. Lets hope the blog doesn't get boring!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)