If you happen to stumble across this blog it may not be of much interest to you... But, for those of you in my life wanting to keep up, the words below are plenty. This is a journey of my life this past year, a newly single mother trying to figure out how to live life to the fullest! In the beginning there was an attempt at daily posts, now I am lucky if I get my fingers on the keyboard every week! I write about life, living and all of the fun stuff in between. If and when I am lucky, I throw in a bit of love! Let me tell you I am experiencing it all, and relishing every bit of it! It all started in July of 2010... if you want to catch all of the good stuff from the beginning, you might want to start there first...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

263 days to go...

Day 102 - Wow... over a hundred days, almost a third of the way through my year! I guess I could recap how far I have come. When this first began in mid July, I was enamored with Mr. P (to say the least). I could hardly think of anything but him, and to think he was the one who put me up to the this silly challenge, a year to myself to find a boyfriend! I have since gone on a few dates, chatted with a dozen or so guys, and for the most part started dating one person... Mr. M. I was asked to go find a boyfriend for the year, and I have done just that.

Now let's be honest, well I guess I will be the one being honest. I fell.... HARD, for Mr. P. I cannot quite put a finger on the how's and whys, I just did! He grabbed me and I wouldn't let go. I fell for his words, his ideas, his mind... I fell in love with someone I hardly knew, well at least in a present since (does that make sense?). I think mentally we connected and for me it was very real. He could brighten my day with the simplest of words, the smallest gesture. I was so happy with the bits of him I would get each day. In the back of my mind, I knew this was never real. I am a realest, always have been and always will be. I may see or know something isn't what it seems, but as long as I am getting what I want or need out of it I will continue right along. I needed him... I needed the confidence and the attention. He gave me what I needed to get out and start moving forward. For that I am truly thankful. He showed me I could move on, and that I would be able to love someone again. As much as I wanted or want to be with him... we just aren't in the same place. I know what he asked of me in July wasn't a true challenge, but rather a way for me to slowly let go and move on from him. I guess now is time for me to start doing just that. As much as I want to be with you Mr. P, I know the reality of the situation is so far from my wishes... Not a day goes by that I don't hear a song or see something that reminds me of him. My memories will always be fond of him, he got me partially through this crazy year. He put a smile on my face and gave me the courage I needed to move forward. I will always have a place for him in my heart... Even if he does come to town and we don't get to see one another, he will still be my friend!
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)