147 days to go...

Day 218 - PART ONE...

It has been awhile since I have had some spare time to post. I am sitting in the airport in Indianapolis waiting for my return flight home. I just completed my 6th annual dealer show for Blingstar. It is always an interesting event, get a bunch of motor heads and cram them into a small Midwest town covered in snow. I've got this show under control now, but it definitely took me several years to get the flow down. I started this show as a married woman, and I here I sit today single... boy was this year different! Last year was my first time somewhat single but I still was living with my ex. This year was a whole new ballgame! Luckily it all remained under my control, and I had a great time, not to mention landed some tremendous clients. And to think I wasn't even planning on attending, in fact, bought my ticket the night before... so not like me!

Last year when I flew home, on my connecting flight is when I found out my dad had passed. I was in such a different place in my life. That flight home changed my life. I lost my dad, and gained an angel. I remember that night as if it were only a few weeks ago, though some of the details are still blurry. I still cannot believe it has been over a year. For those who may not know, this was the day when I met Mr. P. He happened to be the lucky individual whom I sat next to as I hopped on a changed flight to Dallas. Poor guy gets stuck next to this blubbering female, who mind you looks like a mess after 6 days at a trade show. He kept me company for the next 3 hours, preparing me for what was to come, yet keeping the conversation light and entertaining. We talked about everything from food to music to business. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. He gave me his card and it only took me 3 weeks to get the courage to write and thank him for his company. Since then we have had an interesting time writing one another, and a quick visit every now and then when life permits! I sure learned one thing that night... always look great when flying, you never no who you are going to meet! No more comfy clothes for me! (In fact today... I could pass for fabulous!)

I need to fill you in on the last few weeks, however my flight is about to board so I better wrap things up...

PART TWO...

I am now sitting on my return flight, which of course gives me ample time to get caught up and write. This appears to be an uneventful flight, as should be expected. Considering it has been one year since I met Mr. P, I am taking a moment to reflect on my current relations.

Mr. M has been a wonderful transition person. He proved that there are still decent guys out there, even if he wasn’t the one for me. He was extremely attentive and supportive, not to mention a great boost of confidence. He reminded me that I bring terrific qualities to a relationship and how beautiful of a person I truly am. Its unfortunate things didn’t workout, it just wasn’t there for me. I would love to continue the friendship, however I’m not so sure he likes his new title! He was great at getting me through the beginning, and gave me a few tips along the way.

Now, Mr. G., this one is an interesting and strange character all in the same breath. Neither one of us are looking for anything long term, just temporary, which actually is perfect for me. (I’m still holding out for Mr. P, and he’s moving to NY in 6 months) With that said, it is tough to keep emotions out of it. I like him, and he likes me. I’m not falling in love, just yet, but there are feelings there. We had a little incident or shall I say lack of communication on Valentine’s Day that made it a little uncomfortable for a few days. I think we’ve cleared it up, but I have been out of town and won’t fully know till I am back. Either way, I don’t wish to loose him at this point, and hope all is good. He is young and fun, easy on the eyes, and provides me with his company. We haven’t really been on “dates” as he has been working night shifts since we met, however that changes this weekend. Instead we have spent simple times together dinner at his place or mine, sometimes with kids, trips to the library, a little workout here and there and a movie or two at home. Curious to see what getting dressed up and going on a real date will be like.

The older gentleman across the way has me puzzled a little bit (I’ve briefly mentioned him before). I’m not sure if there is any physical attraction there… but there is something. He’s not bad looking, just can’t yet put my finger on it. I had him over Valentine’s night after it flopped with Mr. G for a drink (no one should be alone on the token hallmark holiday). We had great conversation and easily relate with one another. At this point, I am keeping the lines open and seeing where this one goes. Who knows? For now it definitely has career possibilities.

These past four days have been interesting. I have been out of town with my ex, our first business trip together, yet separate. I know we see one another practically daily, but this was different. We were working together, dining together (in groups), and socializing. Simply put, it was weird, and of course NOTHING happened! He was well behaved, for once, and only a little territorial. I don’t normally have to deal with him, as he never attends any of my trade events, but this year he has taken on a more active roll. I tried to not attend at all and let him handle everything, but that didn’t pan out. Being there with him reminded me of all of the things I used to love; he can be a terrific person. Unfortunately the reality is the man I fell in love with died a long time ago, with that said a few qualities still remain. He was my best friend and my partner, and when that dissolved so did our marriage. That is a something I will keep on my checklist for the next guy…. I want a teammate, in addition to a lover. I want us to build off of one another, balance one another, and together become whole. I’m not saying I am going to loose my identity, but I want to be needed and not be in competition. Anyhow, we had a successful trip, landed multiple international accounts and made great strides with our business. Not to mention I ran into several of the guys who always try and get me to go out, including the sunglass guy from this summer! All in all, I had a great time, and managed to do some networking on possible side projects.

The communication lines were briefly open last week with Mr. P. He even did so much as share a play list with me. Which by the way, I have been listening to on this flight home, nicely selected I must add. I know I sound like a broken record, but really the smallest thing from him holds me over for so long. He mentioned being here March the first, so we will just have to wait and see how that goes.

I think I've said enough... for once I had plenty of time to get it all out!