141 days to go...

Day 224 - You know the old saying "if you stop looking for love, it will find you", well in my case this is happening and in many different avenues. This week I was offered two job opportunities, both I am completely capable of. One would get me back to my design roots, but is a commission only position and with the current economy, and the fact I have been out of it so long, I am not sure where that puts me. The other would keep me in the motor cross industry, I would be my own boss, and there is no sales involved, its straight pay. The only downside is it requires a ton of travel. I'm leaning more towards this one, but here is the problem, I've just come to my cliff, and I'm frozen. I can't jump forward, I keep looking back, knowing I don't want to go there either.... WTF... jump Amber, JUMP! Making decisions that affect ME have always been my downfall. I can decide for others, for my business... but when it comes to me, I pretty much let whatever happen, happen and then just deal with "whatever just happened"! This is my one MAJOR fault and weakness. It's definitely why I stayed in my failed marriage for so long... living in the guest bedroom! Right now I am trying to gather all of the details to put together a game plan and see if in fact this is right for me, I realize it is truly an incredible opportunity, just need to make sure it fits with my life. It would require some major parental commitment from Clint and I'm pretty sure if I abandon our current company he won't be on board to help me out!

In addition to this weight on my mind, I have to figure out if I am going to renew my lease or get out! In other words, my year is up and its time to decide... As much as I love my place, with the addition of my three four legged friends, it just doesn't work... I need a yard, or shall I say "they" do! And with this comes another decision... do I really want to sign another year lease here... in Corona? I don't really want to be here anymore, the two parent family suburbia, isn't for me. I'm not the devoted wife/soccer mom anymore, I'm the "single mom", and really there aren't many of us here in this town. I do however, manage to stay with the "in crowd" of moms at the school, and even managed to have them over for lunch this week! So, now what...? I think I may negotiate to remain here month to month until school is out in July, and then go from there... that is unless something incredible comes my way... then I will have to decide... oh crap!

Oh, and in the love chapter, I have my first official date with Mr. G tonight... A real date! Not movies and dinner at home (which by the way, I do love!) I have had a great week with him, he had friends in town from NY, and they rented a time share down at the beach. I joined them one night for dinner, drinks, games and a late run to a bar. We had a blast! It was entertaining to say the least, watching him with his best friends and their "east coast" ways. He was so happy and comfortable. I now see why he is so adamant about returning home, where he belongs. His work schedule has now switched to days which makes way for us to spend more "normal" time together. We shall see where the next few months take us. He leaves in July... which in my life plan... is kinda perfect! Let's just hope I don't fall for this one!

I had a great dinner with my neighbor on Wednesday, we went out for sushi. He confessed he has been interested in me for months but thought I was in a relationship, he was referring to Mr. M. He also stated he has recently started dating someone and thought I should know. I reiterated we are only having dinner and drinks and at this point its "just casual"! We both laughed, chatted and had a great time.

I am so very thankful for this year and the interactions I have had. I've met some great people who in their own ways have enriched my life.