117 days to go...

Day 248 - My "love" horoscope for today, interesting I might add!

The present planetary alignment encourages you to think about making some changes in your relationships. These are not just minor surface details, but entail a far deeper look at some of the more entrenched patterns of which you may have been vaguely aware, but have not really tackled. All it needs is for you to make a beginning for things to improve quite dramatically. Go for it!

118 days to go...

Day 247 - So let me see where I left off... Sunday night with the cousins...We went bowling... and not just any ol' bowlin alley... we went to Lucky Strike and had a blast! It was much needed adult therapy, accompanied with great people. Now we are working on creating a monthly schedule where we actually get together and DO something!

Saturday I met my mom to get my girl back and had a mellow night at home, just us girls. Friday was a different story, had to cram as much in to that day, since my girl was coming home. I had plans to meet up with a girlfriend and get caught up each other's lives. It happened to be a beautiful afternoon so I left work a little early and we went out for a little outdoor retail therapy. She is such a beautiful person, one of which I used to have easy access to, as she was my neighbor, but now we catch up through the blog and quick visits here and there. Afterwards it was finally time to get my tires put on and a trip to the gym. Somewhere in the mix of all of that my neighbor, the one who had been texting me from Vegas all week, asked me to go grab dinner with him and possibly catch a movie. So I hurried home after my errands, quickly got dressed and we met up around 8:45. We decided on a quick bite to eat at one of the restaurant bars close by and a 9:40 movie. Well of course once we got started the movie quickly got vetoed! We closed the first place down at 10:30, apparently they close early! Then headed over to a closer restaurant to continue our conversation. I also managed to squeeze in a chocolate souffle! As 2 o'clock rolled around, we realized we were closing down another bar! Literally we sat chatting for 5 hours, and people watched. I cannot get over how fast the time passed. We had absolutely wonderful conversation, from everything to business, kids, life and relationships. I had a great time with him. Here is the problem, it is obvious he is interested in more from me, he flat out said so the next morning. He also mentioned he pulled back with the girl he was dating. I on the other hand, am not there. I enjoy his company and feel we are a great asset to one another in so many other areas of life. (that sounds horrible) While I am not saying I would not date him.... right now I don't feel the time is right. I see him as being a great friend and companion, not saying that couldn't turn into something later down the road. We even seriously were contemplating renting a big house together and being roommates. That could be a major issue! So for me it's a no go, at least for now.

I think that about wraps up last week.

119 days to go...

Day 246 - I've got a ton to get out tonight so prepare for this to be a long post. I'm probably going to recount backwards, as not to miss anything!

Today was a good day, nothing to over the top, but enough crammed in worth mentioning. I have my girl back after being gone a week up at the ranch. It is always fun trying to get her back into the routine of getting up and going to work with me... I have a few days left to get her ready for school. Tonight she and I had dinner with Rylee to celebrate her 16th birthday. It's crazy I have been with this little girl since she was barely 9 months old. I guess I shouldn't call her a little girl any more! I remember celebrating her 1st birthday and almost every year in between... the only ones I missed were the few years she was in Washington. She remembers all the birthday parties I threw for her (for those who don't know, her mother's side of the family does not acknowledge birthdays). I wanted to do something special, since it is her "Sweet 16" but in my current position as the "ex" figured a car was out of line! HA didn't want to show her dad up! I determined a trip to Tiffany's should do the trick. What girl doesn't love a little teal box with a white ribbon, plus it is a keepsake item and something special to remember me by. Oh and, also squeezed in a little library time with Mr. G and our girls. It really is so cute to see a father with his daughter, especially at the library doing homework and reading. I am very attracted to the "fatherly type".

Now for yesterday...hmmm... Oh yes! Kayden and I went to one of her friends birthday parties that Mr. G and his daughter also happened to be attending. But before that, in the morning we went over to Mr. G's house where the girls played for a bit and he and I got in a much needed workout. I really do enjoy working out with a guy. I used to meet Mr. M at the gym every now and then, and from time to time we would also go running. This is definitely something I will be keeping on the list of "likes", not to mention it is healthy for the relationship and me! While we were at the party, one of the child attendees who happens to know me fairly well and is not in the least bit shy, started announcing "Amber likes Mr. G, she thinks he's cute..." You should have seen the look on Kayden's face, as if this was news to her, she was in complete shock! It is absolutely wonderful what some parents share with their four year old children! My child on the other hand was just dumbfounded... as if her mom really thought any guy was cute! I keep her out of the loop... as I should! If I happen to interact with a guy I am interested in, it is always with the kids, and in no way ever appears to be anything more than a play date.

After the party I dropped Kayden off to see her dad and headed out to meet my cousins. We decided we all needed to start doing something once a month.

.... getting sleepy... to be continued, haven't even got to Friday night!

124 days to go...

Day 241 - Ughh.. writer's block, so much to say, I just can't seem to form the words. Plus I am sleepy... I will catch up in the morning.

128 days to go...

Day 237 - Crazy week as usual, it began with me agonizing over where I needed to move and ended with a few options. My mom decided last minute on Wednesday to drive down and help me get my life situated and pack. We got geared up on Thursday with boxes and packing materials and low and behold I get an email from my landlord offering me two more months. YES! That gets me to June and then I only have to keep Kayden in school 3 more weeks. This buys me the time I need to figure out where the heck I am wanting to live... now I've got a little over a month to begin the new job and focus on what city! There of course is always the option of Paso... my only new concern is the traveling portion and the lack of a major airport. I am keeping it in mind though as I figure out my next steps.

I've pretty much committed to the new job... I am just waiting on my new partner to bring on the new accounts for me to handle. I am officially going to be a "brand manager", basically a marketing person out to promote a line. I'm representing or selling "XYZ"s parts to their distributors sales force. My duties are to promote, educate and get product or displays on dealerships showroom floors. I don't have to sell anything and am paid a straight salary, which these days is GREAT! I will be traveling throughout the US, meeting sales reps and doing ride alongs with them to visit their accounts. It should be fairly easy as long as I am organized with my travel arrangements and plan in advance. Luckily I am pretty good with a schedule. There of course will be reporting back to the companies I represent so that they can track performance and hopefully positive growth. I'm glad to get out of the office and hit the road. I miss interacting face to face with people. Plus the opportunity to get out there and meet new people alone is appealing enough!

I did get a another crazy job offer Thursday night... quick details involve me running a resturant?!?. I had a brief meeting with one of the individuals Friday, but need more information. The fact this position was offered to me just blows my mind. Obviously it is known I am a lover of food, I can manage people, and at the same time run a business... but none the less it still baffles me! I am on board to find out the balance of details and give this some serious consideration.

Now that I think I've got you caught up on the job and home front... better do the same with my relations! I've just spent the past three hours texting my neighbor, who is away in Las Vegas. I mentioned to him that I was home alone on a Saturday...and I had spent all day cooking and cleaning, yet my friends were too pooped to come eat with me. He said I should hop in the car and drive to Vegas and spend the rest of the weekend with him. While this was VERY appealing... I even packed my bag... here I sit at 10:45 on Saturday updating my blog... I truly have no business going back out there, especially since I was just there last week, and I have too many other financial obligations these next few weeks. He did however pull out his "A" game in an attempt to convince me. If only my tires weren't bald and the tire shop not have them the other day.... :( I'd be half way to Vegas by now!

Speaking of road trips... for oh... about two hours Mr. P and I were going to meet halfway in New Mexico... Now had he agreed..., I would be two states away right now... NO hesitation on that one! I miss him and some how need to figure this one out. It's been over a year since the day we met... and almost a year from when the feelings started. Everyone here tells me I need to move on and let my feelings for him go. They've all decided nothing is going to come of this and there is no future. My response... It's not as if I am staying home waiting. I have been dating this past year and have met several great people. It's not my fault no one has been able to fill his shoes! It doesn't appear we will see one another anytime soon. I don't know about this one... only time will tell, but what is fair on how much time it takes. And honestly what is the reality that will come of this? I ask myself these questions daily... and have yet to come up with an answer I will accept.

Interesting week with Mr. G... but will have to fill you in on that one later. This girl just got sleepy all of a sudden! OH yes! And another new one too!

132 days to go...

Day 233 - Vegas was a blast, it was by far one of my best Vegas trip ever! We girls took that city by storm and loved every second of it. Now it is count down time for my girlfriends wedding.

It is time to focus on my moving and job situation. Moving in with the girlfriend has been ruled out. That leaves me with heading up north on April 1st and taking my girl out of school with only three months left... Or, signing a lease somewhere and staying in Corona longer than I had intended. There are so many variables making this a difficult decision for me. I want the new job... its right up my alley, its a start up business, and the room for growth is infinite. The issue of travel is definitely a concern with regards to Kayden. What I should do is stay in Corona, so that if I am traveling, she is with her dad, and school is not affected. What I want to do is get the hell out of here, even if its only 20 miles away... I'm thinking I may stay a few months... possibly 6 or 9 and see how the job goes and if I get the support from her dad that I need. If it all pans out as hoped, I am back on the road to self sufficiency and being a homeowner again. If it doesn't... then I'm looking for a nanny to help with Kayden while I travel. Either way... my plan is to take the job. It seems a little crazy to me that I am going back full force into career mode. It's not as if I have stopped working a day, since starting at 16, but the past few years owning my own business seemed a bit more laxed. I guess it was just the freedom that came with it, because it was not a lack of stress and hours. I pictured my life in such a different place then the direction that I am headed in, but I'm making do with what I have been dealt and taking it head on. I really thought at this point in my life I would have been married with several kids.... Instead I am divorced, only one child and turning back into the career power woman. I guess if you're good at it, you might as well go for it!

Men o' men..... I for see this taking longer than I ever anticipated! I know everything happens for a reason... I have always been a firm believer in that phrase. I decided I met Mr. G simply for this transition in my life of the new job and moving. As I think I have said before he too is moving, first on April 1st for a few months (as his current lease is up), then in July back to Long Island. As of right now he is the only guy I am "seeing", however I still talk to Mr. M, Mr. P and my neighbor. He has brought me to my jump off point, and instead of me going over the edge, I have managed to find a winding path along the side of a hill. Either way I am getting to the bottom! I think if we had met at a different time in his life things may have progressed in a different direction, but for now we are one another's companions in this little journey of cliff diving.

136 days to go...

Day 229 - I really should write more frequently... so much can happen in my little life in such a short amount of time... Last I wrote I was getting ready for my first real date with Mr. G, which by the way was sweet, but the poor guy suffered through a migraine he ended up having for 4 days. Needless to say he struggled through it, and while its a date I wont forget, it definitely wasn't the most memorable. I decided to not renew my lease and currently I am homeless come April 1st. I am actually thinking of bunking at a girlfriends house till summer and Kayden is out of school and then possibly move up to the ranch. It is becoming more and more appealing! The next few weeks will be interesting trying to figure all of this out.

Tonight is the eve of my girlfriends bachelorette party in Las Vegas. While I am extremely excited to go... I've never "done" Vegas this way with the girls. They've all been primping and planning outfits for days... and here I come, wingin it! I know we will have a blast, we are going all out... fancy hotel suites, dinner reservations at STK, and a table at TAO.... boy does this gang know how to roll!!! I'm sure I will have incredible stories to share in a few days!

Sorry to be so short... this girl needs her beauty sleep!